Searching For You

Chapter 60: Closed Off

Ben's POV:

I woke up to the morning sun hitting my eyelids. Today is the day that Finn and Poe arrive with the medical help I requested, I didn't really agree with the idea of bringing out an entire medical frigate but I was not left with much of a say in the matter. When I explained the situation to them they panicked and weren't willing to take any risk in possibly leaving anything important behind they might need. I rolled over to see my wife's back to me, I missed waking up to her facing me in the mornings; I shimmied my way over to her and hugged her from behind. "Good morning my love, your friends are visiting today. Are you excited?" I ask her as I gently rub the side of her belly. As usual, she didn't respond to me; no words, no movements, just as if she were an empty shell of herself. I am starting to get frustrated, Rey has been shutting me out a lot lately and I hate it. Even when I try to read her thoughts to know what she is thinking or feeling she blocks me out. I gradually convinced myself to climb out of bed. Before leaving our room I return to Rey's side, kissing her forehead and her belly before saying my goodbyes for the day. I'm about to pull away from her but she grabs my arm as if to hold me back, I see her eyes open, they're full of fright and pain, she is crying and I can tell she wants to say something but can't bring herself to do it. I cup her tiny hand in both my large ones, "Don't worry. Your friends should be able to help us, they will be here soon and as much as I don't want to leave your side right now, I still have to teach the younglings today. I will be back as fast as I can." I say trying my best to ease her worries. It pains me to pull away from her. I hate seeing her like this, I hate leaving her side when I know she needs me right now. I don't know If I can help her in the other ways she needs me to right now. 'Force! Why can't she be her normal happy self?'

I attempt to pull myself together as I walk into the training room where the little ones await but it's a huge struggle. I walk in with my head hung low, hoping I will even have enough concentration to make it through the class. I was surprised when I walk in to find the army of little ones standing shoulder to shoulder with their crossed arms. "What has gotten into you guys? I never thought you could look so scary," I asked, half-jokingly.

"What are you doing?" One says, "Yeah!" Pipes another. "Why aren't you with Master Rey, we know she is really ill." One of the Twi'lek girls, Nima asks. "Who told you," I ask, taken aback. I was careful not to tell them how ill Rey really is. "Our parents told us." The small Wookie Nyrkar asks.

"We can tell you're sad," Eleanor asks, "We feel it." her sister Esther adds. "Go be with her!" The Zabrak boy Qusu says while he pushes me towards the door "Why are you just standing there?" Eichi adds while he pushes me towards the door with the force, "We can wait!" They all say at once. They all lecture me from the oldest to the youngest student. I freeze, unsure how to respond. The understanding they are showing is far beyond their years. I kneel down and hold my arms open as they rush in to provide a supportive hug. I dismiss the class for the day and promise to give an update as soon as possible before leaving the room.

I head to the location where I, Finn and Poe had decided it would be easiest to land the frigate and I just start pacing around. I can't help the feeling of them not being able to get here soon enough, I can feel my anxiety rising as my heart beats so fast it begins to get hard to breathe. 'Finn, I might need one of those herb things again.' I push the thought into his mind as I place one of my hands to my chest as if I could physically force my heart to slow down. 'Hang in there buddy we're almost there. I'll bring it with me just hang tight.' I sit on the steps to enter the temple just as the ship breaks our atmosphere. When they land, Poe and Finn rush out first. "Man I have never seen you look so much like a ghost," Poe yells as they rush to my side. Finn pushes the contents of the syringe into my arm and just like last time after a couple of minutes I feel control over myself again. I mutter a thank you as a small medical team meets up with us. I waste no time in guiding them as quickly as I can to Rey. 'Hang in there sweets I'm on my way.'