Debunked

Chapter 6

But Sam hasn't seemed to put that together yet. He keeps talking like Castiel's just taking a little break, and he'll be back after a brief sabbatical. Is that what Dean thought he meant when he left? Is Dean just so used to him running back to them every time, because there's no one else here for him?

Or did Dean just not tell his brother? Sam may have no idea what happened. It's probably for the best. A big goodbye may have made him doubt his decision. The Winchesters have always been good at making him think he belongs right before he reaches his breaking point. This time, he finally went through with it, and he's not going back for anything. Not now that he knows what it's like to truly be appreciated.

But then Sam has to keep going.

Oh, um, one more thing. It's kinda the reason I started praying in the first place. Dean and I just went on a hunt, and we kinda ran into Lilith.

Castiel inhales sharply. Lilith? The first demon? How is that even possible?

I know the three of us kinda have a history with her, so it felt like something I would make sure you heard. I won't bore you with the details because I'm sure you still want to be left alone, but if you wanna know, just call me, okay? Or call Dean. Call one of us. Or just come back, and we'll tell you in person. It's up to you.

Will, that's it. Bye, Cas. I hope we hear from you soon. Maybe give us a call when you get the chance?

Castiel puts your elbows on his knees and clasps his hands together, using them to prop his head up and cover his expression. He doesn't want to worry anyone. Emma and James never even met Lilith. She doesn't care about them, and they probably won't care about her. If they don't ask, it seems like a win.

So, obviously, they ask, because when does he ever win?

"Castiel?" Emma says cautiously. "What's going on?"

"Just a prayer," Castiel says vaguely.

"A prayer?" Emma repeats. "You get prayers? Dude, that is so cool."

Castiel gives her a half assed smile. He's glad she thinks it's cool, but he has to disagree.

"Do hunters just randomly pray to you like they'd pray to God or something?" James asks.

"Occasionally, but not often," Castiel says. He's only heard from hunters he's never met a few times over the years. "No, this was just the Winchesters."

Emma scoffs. "Do they not realize that you're better off without them? Do they just not like that? What are they doing?"

"They were just warning me about something," he said vaguely. "We may not have always gotten along well, but we're still friendly enough for that."

"What were they warning you about?" Emma asks. "You're not in danger, are you?"

Castiel shakes his head. "I don't think so. They probably are, but fortunately, I have antagonized a lot fewer demons than they have."

"Oh, it's a demon?" Emma shivers. "Demons scare the shit out of me. Give me something I can stab and I'm fine, but I don't have time to perform a whole ass exorcism when there's a demon at my throat."

Castiel lets his blade fall from his sleeve and holds it up. "Fortunately, I do get to stab them."

"Doesn't that kill the vessel, though?" James asks.

Castiel pauses. He hadn't thought of that in a long time. The Winchesters gave up trying to save the vessels years ago. As an angel who's lived a very long life of separation for humanity and had a hatred of demons instilled him in since their creation, he's always thought killing the monster was more important than saving one human life.

"I suppose it does," Castiel says finally. "But the other option would be to exorcise the demon and let them return to earth to possess a new vessel, and it's entirely possible their former vessel would already be broken beyond repair."

"Well, yeah, but..." James trails off uncomfortably.

"How do you just, like, stab someone when you know there's an innocent human being there?" Emma asks. "Like, in the long run, I guess I get it, but I wouldn't be able to bring myself to do it."

Castiel shrugs. "I suppose it's because I'm an angel. It's probably different when you're a human talking about killing a human."

"I feel like I should be concerned that you have no problem killing people, but I'm actually just really interested," James says.

"Wait, so, if a demon possessed an angel, would you be willing to kill the angel to kill the demon?" Emma asks.

"I don't think a demon can possess an angel," James says. "'Cause the angel's already possessing a vessel."

"Techny, that's true," Castiel says. "But multiple beings can possess the same vessel at the same time."

"How does that work?" James asks. "Can they both control it at the same time?"

"I don't know; I wasn't really paying attention," Castiel admits. "I think the stronger being would have control, but I never really fought for it when I was possessed."

"Who was trying to possess you?" Emma asks.

*Lucifer, mostly," Castiel says. "Crowley, too, for a time — the former king of hell, but he wasn't really the king at the time."

"Woah, okay, back the truck up," James says. "You shared a vessel with the devil?"

Castiel shrugs sheepishly. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"How could that possibly seem like a good idea?" James asks.

So Castiel recaps that whole year. He tells them about the Mark of Cain, Sam freeing Amara, her fixation on Dean, and their trip to hell. He's rather reluctant to admit that Lucifer tricked him and was never really able to lock Amara away on his own, but he tells them anyway. It's better they realize he screws everything up now, rather than when his mistakes could endanger them.

But, unlike the Winchesters, they don't consider it a mistake at all.

"So, basically, you risked your life to bring back the only reachable angel who locked her away the first time?" Emma surmises. "I mean, it didn't work out exactly how you planned it, but he was still, like, super important."

"Basically, you saved the world because Sam and Dean weren't willing to look at the bigger picture is the moral of the story," James adds.

Castiel cocks his head to the side, squinting. No one's ever explained it that way. It's always been just another mistake in the long list of them he's made. It wasn't long after they realized Lucifer was useful that he went back to being the villain, but in the long run, bringing him out must have saved more people than it hurt.

But Castiel doesn't say that. It's just one more strike against the Winchesters. It may be a strike that Castiel needed to see to realize he's better off without them, but Emma and James have only heard the worst of the Winchesters, and they certainly don't need another reason to hate the two.

So, instead, he says, "I think it's time for you two to go to bed. We can talk in the morning."

Emma eyes him for a moment, confused, but doesn't question it. She climbs back into bed, covering herself with her blanket and curling up on her side. "G'night."

"Good night," Castiel replies, unable to hide his fond smile. Obviously, the Winchesters used to say "good night" to him, too, but not after they've already gone to bed.

She's kind of cute when she's about to sleep. Sam and Dean already wore the same stressed, concerned expressions on their faces in bed, usually plagued by nightmares, but Emma looks almost like a child as she prepares to fall asleep. He misses seeing this level of innocence. But that's something that he doesn't have. Maybe he did fit in with the Winchesters, at least in that way. But he can't complain that he's not with them anymore.