Debunked

Chapter 21

Castiel?

He smiles to himself at the sound of Hannah's voice in his head. He knew it was only a matter of time until she prayed to him, but he thought she'd at least last the night without him.

It's bedtime, and usually I pray to God at bedtime, but you told me not to so I didn't. Aren't you proud of me?

Castiel chuckles. She's the sweetest child he has ever met. And, fortunately, Emma and James are asleep, so he can laugh about it.

I know you're probably sleepy because it's late, and Mommy and Daddy were always in bed by now, but I took a nap so I'm not sleepy. Jody wanted me to go to bed an hour ago, but Claire was awesome and said I didn't have to. But now it's late so I have to.

Castiel glances at the clock. It's only 10 o'clock. He'd be surprised if Claire was already going to bed this early, but if she managed to convince the kid it was late, kudos to her.

Cas?

"Not now," Castiel groans, his head lolling back in exasperation. Out of all the times Sam could pray to him, he just has to pick the same time that Hannah chose, huh? Their voices overlap in his head, but he does his best to block Sam out and only listen to Hannah.

I didn't wanna stay here at first, but Jody and Claire are super nice. Did you know someone else lives here, too? I haven't met her yet, but Jody said she's nice. She's a nurse. She helps people, just like you! Jody said she won't be home until really, really late, so I won't get to see her until I wake up, and I really wanna meet her, so I really wanna wake up, so I really gotta go to sleep. But I miss you and I love you and I can't wait to see you again!

Castiel smiles. She's so sweet and excitable. He's going to make sure the first thing they do tomorrow is head back to her old house and find anything she might want 10 years from now, just as an excuse to go back and visit.

Unfortunately, thinking about Hannah isn't enough to distract him from Sam.

I don't know if I'm less worried now that I know you're alive or more worried because you're not answering me. Dean still says not to worry about it, but if you're talking to Jody and not to us... Did we do something wrong? Are you still upset over Jack? Because that was all God's plan. Chuck knew he was going to die, one way or another, even if we didn't want to kill him.

Castiel clamps his hands over his ears, as if that will block out the voice that's already inside his head. He was okay with hearing Sam's voice. He didn't care that Jody told Sam that he stopped by. But hearing Sam say Jack's name, especially after he and Dean tried to kill him... And the fact that he's trying to make excuses about it. So what if Jack would have died anyway? That doesn't change the fact that Sam and Dean actively tried to kill him, and that when Castiel tried to reason with them, they told him to leave. That may not be why he left for good, but hearing Sam talk about it like that just confirms that he made the right choice.

Just call me, Cas. I can't keep looking for you all day, especially without telling Dean. And I know Dean thinks I'm overreacting, and I probably am, but I just need to hear your voice. I'll even settle for a text. You don't need to tell me where you are or what you've been doing or why you're ignoring me. I just want to hear from you. Please, Cas. After all we've been through, you owe me that much.

Castiel lets his head fall to the motel room table, exasperated. Sam seems really worried, and every piece of him wants to tell him what's happening and why he left. Sam would tell him that he's okay and it wasn't his fault, and he'd probably go off on a tangent about why Dean's acting the way that he is and why Castiel shouldn't listen to him. But he's sick of hearing the boy make excuses for his brother. If he thinks he can explain away the fact that they tried to kill Jack, he'll try to get out of anything, and Castiel doesn't want to hear it.