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March 25, 20XX Wednesday
"You guys have visitors," my mother lets me know as she knocks on my door.
I look up, in the middle of buttoning up Yejoon's onesie.
My mom must have seen the bit of hope in my eyes, throwing me a sad smile. "It's Jungkook with the twins."
I swallow hard, picking up Yejoon and giving her a nod of my head.
Who were you expecting, silly?
Sitting on my bed, I wait for Jungkook and the twins to come up, feeling a little bit nervous about seeing the twins.
Yejoon looks up at me, gently sucking on his pacifier.
I softly stroke his cheek with the back of my finger, gently laughing.
"Knock knock," Jungkook grins, standing at the door with the twins by his side.
I smile at them, Taehee returning my smile with a toothy grin before running over, Taesuk slowly following after.
"Is the baby awake?" Taehee giggles as she plops herself beside me.
"Shh! You're so loud." Taesuk scolds her, walking over with his hands in his pockets, scarily resembling his older brother a bit.
I giggle with Taehee. "No, he's still awake. You're pretty lucky to catch him awake."
Taehee gasps loudly as she looks at him. "He is so so cute!"
"Let me see," Taesuk tilts his head as he keeps his distance. He smiles a little but doesn't say anything else.
I look up at Jungkook, confused by the way Taesuk is reacting.
"Taesuk? Is something wrong?" I gently ask him, afraid to scare him away.
Taesuk avoids eye-contact, shaking his head, but by the way he's moving his feet, it tells me there is something wrong.
"Jennie-noona... why aren't you at our house anymore?" Taesuk suddenly asks, his eyes kept low.
My own widen.
He looks up, finally, revealing tears in his eyes.
"Taesuk..." I swallow hard. I guess I never took in to account how the twins would react to everything that was happening.
"Taesuk, do you know what's wrong with Taehyung?" I ask him.
Taehee answers for him, "His memory is funny."
I nod at her. "Right, and right now... he doesn't remember me...so he doesn't even know about Yejoon."
He frowns, biting down hard on his lip. "So then why can't you help him remember?"
My heart drops.
Why can't I?
Why can't I help him remember?
I clench my jaw, clearing my throat as I try hard not to let the emotions I've gated so hard, loose.
Jungkook places his hand on Taesuk's shoulder, gently giving it a squeeze. "It's complicated. But I think Jennie is giving Taehyung his space to recover, right?"
I look at him, thankful for him helping me out. I reach out for Taesuk's hand. "I-I'm hurting right now, Taesuk. It's not Taehyung's fault, but right now it hurts my heart to think he can't remember me."
"We know," Taehee plays with her dress. "He didn't remember us at the beginning too. Right, Taesuk? Remember you were sad too."
Taesuk nodded, his face showing that he still didn't really understand the complexity of everything.
"Even now he's funny." Taehee scrunches her nose, looking up at me.
"That's probably why Taesuk wants you home."
So things could feel back to normal.
I look up to the ceiling, trying to put the tears back.
What if things could never go back to normal?
Jungkook sits next to me, taking Yejoon from my hands. I take the time to wipe away my tears.
"I'm sorry, noona. I made you cry." Taesuk wipes away his own tears.
I shake my head, trying to laugh it off. "No, you didn't. It's okay. It means we love your brother a lot, right?"
He nods and Taehee slips herself off the bed to wrap her arms around her younger brother.
"Alright, no more crying. Why don't you two go get what you made Jennie."
Taehee gasps and pulls along Taesuk. "Okay! We left it on the table! We'll be back really quick!"
I hold my smile until they're out of my room when I finally can sigh.
Jungkook plays with Yejoons hand. "He looks miserable, you know."
I look at him in surprise.
"Take a look." He carefully reaches for his cell phone in his pocket, quickly entering his passcode before opening his gallery to the latest video.
I take it in both my hands playing the clip he took of Taehyung on the couch. They were watching a TV show, but it looked like he wasn't all there, but was lost in his thoughts.
I notice he was biting his fingernail, something he did when he was upset or anxious.
All of a sudden, I feel like crying all over again.
Because we both were hurting.
I was just so concentrated on my own feelings that I never put myself in Taehyung's shoes. I thought that ignorance was bliss, but maybe Taehyung was in even more pain from his inability to remember all the people he's developed relationships with.
"Go see him," Jungkook connects his eyes with mine. "Go fix things."
I gulp, looking back at the video.
With a deep breath, I nod my head, having the courage to say,
