Love, Eliot

Red Violins

After the movie ended Josiah escorted me back to my dorm. The cool night air pushed us closer together and I began not to mind.

"So," The tip of Josiah's nose was pink from the cold, "Are you ready for the break?"

"We still have a few weeks," I sighed and a cloud of fog swirled into the air, "I'm trying not to think much about it,"

"Can I ask why not?"

I gave him a tight smile, "My family can get chaotic over the holidays,"

Josiah nodded, "I know the feeling."

I glanced at him, "Yeah?"

"Of course," He responded and reached for the front door to my building. "Whose family isn't missing a few screws?"

His reassuring smile melted away any remaining thoughts I had of Eliot.

The dim building lights flickered as we walked down the hall.

"Well," I sighed, "That's not creepy at all,"

"The school should have advertised if they were planning on making a haunted house," Josiah laughed.

We passed by the elevator and met each other's gaze. I blushed at the memory. Josiah grinned but never brought up the last thing I wanted to talk about.

Since the elevator was out of order we took the stairs. I struggled not to gasp for air once we reached the top.

Josiah appeared unfazed by our brief exercise and offered me his hand as I climbed the last stair.

He didn't let go of my hand until we reached my door.

"Any chance I'll get another date with you?"

I bit my lip, "I don't know. Why don't you ask me out again and see?"

Josiah shook his head with a grin, "Will you go out with me Friday night?"

"Friday?" I tapped my finger to my chin, "I'll have to check my schedule."

"I guess I'll be going then," He turned and started down the hall but I pulled him back.

"Hold on," I laughed, "I was only kidding,"

"I know but I wanted you to grab me," Josiah winked and started a chain reaction of blushing.

He rubbed the back of his neck, "Sorry, I'm not the best at this,"

"This?"

"Flirting with a pretty girl,"

I opened my mouth but shut it back before a string of gibberish flowed out. After one boyfriend and a long-term sexting partner, I was ill-equipped to deal with attractive guys.

I forced myself to respond, "I'd like that,"

Josiah furrowed his eyebrows.

"To go out with you on Friday," I had a week to figure out what I needed to say to Eliot. I week to end things.

"Good," Josiah glanced down to where my hand was still clutched onto his arm. I stuttered out an apology.

He waved it off and stared at my awkward expression. I brushed my unruly hair out of my face and tried to suppress the desire to run away.

Josiah leaned in and waited for my reaction.

I swallowed down the panic forming inside of me and stepped into the kiss. Our lips met and I remembered what it felt like to feel someone against me.

He softness drew me further into his embrace as his arms wrapped around me. I melted into his warmth and drifted into bliss.

We broke away from each other when another group of students came bounding down the hall. They whistled as they passed.

"I guess that's my cue," I reached for my door and swiped the key.

Josiah nodded, "I'll see you at rehearsal?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," I entered my dorm and wasn't surprised to see my roommate passed out on the couch.

"Sorry," I smiled at Josiah, "She's rarely here but when she is..."

He laughed at my flustered expression, "I get it."

I nodded and hoped he couldn't see the soft shaking of my hands.

"Goodnight," I shut the door before I could say something stupid.

I rested my head against the door and swore.

My roommate groaned from her place on the couch. "Shut up will you?" Her slurred words were my cue to retire for the night. But not before my phone vibrated in my pocket.

My bedroom light flickered on and I kicked off my shoes before pulling out my phone.

A notification from Eliot1980 waited on my screen.

I clicked it open and sucked in a breath.

"Hey," The green light beside his username captured my attention,

I bit my lip, "Hey there," I knew our relationship needed to end if I didn't want to glance over my shoulder for the rest of the year.

"I need to talk to you about something..."

"Yes?" The typing bubble continued for what seemed like forever.

Eliot's next message sucked the air from my lungs, "I think we should stop whatever this is for a while."

"This?"

"Talking."

I swallowed and paced the dorm room floor.

"I'm okay with that,"

"Really?"

"Yes," I forced down the vague feeling of sadness forming inside of me, "I think that's best."

I didn't know what I was expecting in response but "I'll see you around." wasn't it. Eliot logged off before I could say anything else and I flopped onto my bed.

That was easier than I thought.

I let the events of the night sink in as I stared at the ceiling. The date reminded me of what I wanted out of a relationship.

An anonymous relationship wouldn't lead to date nights and walks in the park.

Unless Eliot was someone I had known all along.

Josiah always appeared at the worst moments and shared so many things in common with the anonymous sexter.

I began to hope it was him.

I climbed off my bed and turned on the speaker resting on my cluttered desk. I shuffled through the playlist Drew made for me after my breakup with Carter.

A familiar melody filled my room as I buried myself into the many blankets on my bed.

Before I could drift off to the sound of Red Violins, my phone vibrated again. I jumped at the sound.

My heart fell when I realized the message was from Rosemary.

"How was the date?"

"He kissed me."

"And??"

I sighed,"Eliot ended things with me."

"Oh," Rosemary continued typing, "Is that good or bad?"

At the moment my mind was marinating in conflicting emotions. "I'll let you know when I figure it out."

"Tell me all about it tomorrow."

I let an emoji be the end of the conversation and sunk into my bed. The mystery was over but I didn't know how to feel.

Without Eliot, I was free to live my life without suspicion creeping in all the time.

But my heart still ached at the thought.