Searching For You

Chapter 52: Touchy Topic

It has almost been a year since Rey and Ben had claimed the old Gray Jedi Temple as their home. They had just recently finished the remodeling and retrofitting the temple in order to make it a more comfortable place for all to come. With lots of meditation and help from Ben, Rey's night terrors finally come to a stop, allowing them some much-deserved relief. For now, they are now able to stay by each other's sides without worrying that Rey might damage or harm in the middle of the night. Rey spent most of her time training Finn on the light side of the force while Ben helped him with his training in the dark side of the force, they both taught Finn how to build his own lightsaber. Very few people knew about Ben and Rey's engagement, but they didn't mind. They had been so busy that planning their wedding had been the last thing on their minds. However that was about to change, for today was finally the day for Finn and Poe would leave and return to The Resistance. They all said their goodbyes quickly, preferring to keep them short and sweet as they went their different ways.

Ben's POV:

Once the ship was out of sight, I pulled Rey close to me and placed a tender kiss full of emotion to her lips. "You know neither of us finally have any immediate work to do." I seductively whisper in her ear. I am pleased to feel her lightly shiver in my grasp as a result. "Come on Ben, you know that's not true. There's a lot of work to do." I was confused by her statement. "We still have a wedding to plan!" She exclaims while punching me in the arm. I can't help but let out a chuckle. "I know but to me, that seems more like play than work. Especially if we start with planning the honeymoon first." I add in a playful tone. I see the excitement light up in her eyes, I hesitate for a moment before asking my next question. "Rey, what do you think of trying to start our family shortly after the wedding?" As soon as the question leaves my lips I regret it. I watch as the joy and playfulness leave her eyes and replaced with anxiety as it starts to ripple through her body. She looks down at her feet, while gently biting her lower lip. I wish I could take back my words. I hate seeing her in pain like this. "I want to. I'm just scared at the possibility of losing another child." She explains as she starts to cry. Her words hit me hard, I understand that fear, I fear that too. I squeeze her tight against me, I was afraid she would melt away from me. "With us working together, nothing will ever get between us and our child again. Ok?" I try reassuring her. I feel her head nod against my chest, I can't help but run my fingers through her hair in an attempt to relieve her anxiety. I place a kiss on the top of her head and try to think of a way to distract her from her spiraling negative thoughts. Then it hits me.

"I have something for you," I tell her. Desperate to lighten her mood, I guide her to our bedroom and pull out one of the crates from Naboo out from under the bed. I know it is the one that contains my grandmother's and my mother's wedding dresses and the jewelry they had worn by the symbol on top of it. "If you want you can use these and alter them however you like," I tell her and quickly run out of the room before she even has time to see its contents. It takes all of my efforts not to enter her mind because I don't want to risk seeing her in the gown she picks till the actual wedding day. I feel her joy and excitement return though our bond and breathe a sigh of relief. I want nothing more than for her to always feel this way, especially if I am the reason why she feels this way.