Wings and Hammers

9. True Nature

"Oh my God," she cried out as he dragged down to between her legs and kissed on her there. His tongue played around with her clitoris, as she kept purring his name out. "Er..wi...nn.. baby, baby," she kept whimpering, with a fistful of his hair in her hand, as he devoured her with all his vigor, until she was royally scattered on the bed.

"Oh, baby," she acknowledged him as he came up beside her, plopping herself on her arm, "you were so good to me." She smiled. Wishing to return the favor, she slowly trailed her fingers southwards on his chest.

"No," he stopped her midway, "I'm very, very tired right now. We can do me tomorrow, okay? Come here, let's go to sleep." "Are you sure?" she asked, letting her hand rest where it was. "Yes," he replied, curling up to her and shut his eyes. Aura followed suite.

The next thing Aura saw was an empty room. The sunlight pierced through the window on her left, forming shadows on the floor with the flapping curtain. Dust particles floated in the light that shined through the glass.

She rolled over to the other side, thinking about the events post-Shiganshina. Erwin had already expressed his desires to move to a city inside Wall Sina and have a house of their own. She smiled at the thought of it. A house of their own, and a beautiful family with a beautiful man. She did not get the chance to ever plan a family before.

Erwin's ruthlessness in the battle for humanity had always barred her from expecting a family with him. But, now, everything seemed so perfect. Everything would be perfect, at least for the next eight to nine years. Up until she starts forgetting everything, like her father did.

She sighed, sitting up on the bed. Where was Erwin? She cracked her knuckles as the duvet fell off her, reminding her of the beautiful night they had. The marks of love-making had remained on her skin; she had not let them heal. She craved to see him, return the last night's favor if he was up for it.

She took up his shirt from the chair and put it on. She found him as soon as she came out of the bedroom. Desolate, he stood near a window with a cigarette burning out in between two of his fingers. "Erwin?" she called out to him, eager to know why he was smoking.

"Oh," he quickly put it away when he noticed her, "I'm so sorry. I didn't notice you were awake." He waved through the smoke, attempting very hard to send it out.
"What's up?" she asked, walking towards him.
"Nothing. It's nothing. I have a very important meeting in a couple of hours. I was just a little anxious."

"Getting back to work the day after the wedding, huh, Commander? Look at you, so busy." She sank into his chest as he met her midway.
"No, more like putting an end to going back to work."

He smiled down at her, as she looked up at him confused. "What do you mean?" she asked, smiling.
He sighed. "I'm retiring.. effective today."
Aura broke out of the embrace. "What do you mean effective today? What about Shiganshina?"

"I'm handing it over to Hange. She'll know what to do."
Aura took a few steps backward, trying to understand what was going on. "But.. why?"

"I have a family to look out for now. I can't go around risking my life anymore. And, if I was able-bodied, I wouldn't have considered it. But with one arm missing, how much probability do I have to survive? I can't take such a huge risk, Aura."
"What about the soldiers? Will they be motivated in your absence?"

"Of course they will be. They'll have Hange."
"But.. but.. Erwin.. this is so unlike you. You're always the one leading the soldiers, demise or not. And.. and.. what about your dream? Jaeger's basement? You want to go there, don't you?"

"Well.." he sighed, "you got to make some compromises for your family, right? This is my compromise."
"No.." Aura almost screamed, "I can't let you do that, okay? I can't be the one holding you back."