Emotion (Star Trek fan fiction)

13 Grief

Spock sat with the children at the sand dunes where he and Vi had been walking only the night before.

He swallowed and whispered to them. "Your mother was the most excellent and exciting and logical woman I ever had the honor of serving. She...", He stopped and swallowed again, struggling to get control.

S'trk, the one most prone to crying started to do just that.
"You must not cry because I am here and I will always protect you. Just as she has done." Spock didn't trust his voice to talk anymore.

S'trk sniffled a little and stopped. T'sing held out a chubby arm. Vi's teleport bracelet hung off of her little wrist.

That was too much for Spock. He doubled over, sobbing silently with tears rolling down his face, but without a sound so as not to upset the triplets.

He held all three close to him as his chest shuddered. "Nothing will happen to you."

He made his way slowly back to the Enterprise. His friends were all there with sympathetic looks and comments.

Spock stood stiffly erect, with his three children. "I would like to request an early retirement to my quarters." His throat was trembling and his voice was choked.

"Of course Spock."

He nodded stiffly and walked away before he broke down again.

"What happened?" Uhura whispered tearfully after he left the room.

"She couldn't get off the train." Kirk sighed heavily. "Spock wanted her to jump. She refused."

Chekov bowed his head sadly. "If only I had brought bigger blanket."

"God Spock looks awful." Bones shook his head.

"You may want to come up with something a bit more sensitive then that Bones." Kirk got up and went out of the room.

That night Spock lay on his back staring at the ceiling. His face was wet with tears as he rubbed his wedding ring. He felt exhausted but every time he closed his eyes he saw her face.

Bones knocked quietly on his door. "Mind if I come in?"

Spock drew in a shuddery breath and wiped his face with the back of his hand. "You may enter doctor."

Bones plopped down on the bed next to Spock. "She was good."

"Yes. She was." Was the smallest sentence Spock could manage.

"I'm not very good at this sympathy thing. I'm sorry." Bones' voice came out of the darkness.

"You once had a deep emotional attachment to her if I recall."

"Hell I still do." Bones turned to look at Spock.

"Then I am sorry for your loss also doctor." Spock's voice seemed a bit stronger.

They lay there in silence, reminiscing about the sassy half Vulcan woman with black curly hair who meant so much to both.

The next morning Spock woke up exhausted. The events of the previous day hit him like a truck.

He turned to look next to him.

Bones was asleep with his mouth open, a line of drool spreading from Spock's pillow all the way to the corner of his mouth.

Spock wondered how his beautiful wife had been replaced with this snoring southern doctor.

There was knock.

"Come in Jim."

Kirk stepped in and got an eye full of the snoring, shirtless Bones, blowing snot bubbles from his nose. "Did Bones sleep here?"