Shaped Me

Watch Yourself

    "I'm already over this and them," I repeat before realizing the words are coming out of my mouth. Tugging at the strap of my backpack Beth eyes me cautiously as though telling me to back down. Maybe my emergency alarm is broken but none of my bells are going off right now. Maybe I should have just shut up. Maybe I should have taken Nile up on his offers to go to the gym with him this summer. Her eyes darken a bit as she continues to look down at me. Am I really looking up to this girl right now? I blame my mother for me not being at least two inches taller. Not that it was going to serve me well in this situation. 

    "Listen." Does she chew nails for fun? Why does she sound like that? "We didn't want to come to your stupid school in the first place but here we are."

    "Okay." Manny shut up. Where are my alarms? Or the damn angel on my shoulder that is supposed to stop me from doing dumb and potentially harmful things? Taking a step closer to me clears her throat.

    "Watch yourself." Shoulder checking me she walks away luckily before I can say anything more stupid. What the hell did I just do? Oh, there goes my alarms just a little too late. Beth and I watch as she and the girls standing with her disappear down the hall before either of us takes a breath.

    "Manny!"

    "I don't know. I don't know."

    "What happened to you not being confrontational?"

    " Good question." So far junior year you are not living up to my expectations in the slightest. All of my classes pretty much sucks and now I have an enemy? I think. Hopefully, practice is going to go better than the rest of the day but if Beth is right about new tryouts then it's probably going to be the same. With my gym bag in hand and the rest of my classes outdone for the day I head to the gym alone. Maybe I need to make more friends this year. Most of my classes minus gym are by myself and I spent most of today alone. I have not felt this lonely since my actual first day at this school.

A couple of the girls smiled my way and I'm thankful to see some familiar faces. However, the number of new faces is hard to ignore. Our dance team only has about twelve spots and right now there are definitely more than thirty girls in the room.

"You heard?" Janet a sophomore asked taking a spot next to me. Nodding my head already knowing she's talking about the tryouts. I listen as she continues to tell me about everything that is happening with the dance team. According to her, every spot is up for grabs. At the end of last year, there were only four spots open because our seniors graduated. Marissa, the captain, was one of them. So almost everyone, minus me, was vying for the spot of captain. Now nothing is guaranteed.

Mrs. Santos is the faculty advisor for the dance team this year as well. The busty woman is more energetic than anyone of us knows how to handle. Currently, she is going through the roster of everyone who signed in. Those of us who were on the team are already dressed in the workout uniform we were given last year, training shorts and a team t-shirt. What everyone is wearing lets you know where they fall. Girls who were on the team at Irishsmith having on their workout gear, Woodside girls have on their gear and those who were on neither team have on plain workout clothes. The tension in the room is almost palpable. Woodside on one side, Irishsmith on the other and everyone else straddling the invisible line in the middle.

"Got a hair tie?" Janet asked finishing up her stretches. I wonder if we're actually going to do anything today besides talk. That is all today has been awkward "introduce yourself "moments and teachers droning on about their expectations. Handing her the hair tie I fight the urge to remind her to give it back to me at the end of the night. I'm a bit particular about my stuff but would prefer not to be looked at like a weirdo.