Chapter 21

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JJ

We pull up to the driveway, the smell of freshly cooked chicken filled the car. I felt happy but I couldn't help but feel this nagging feeling in my stomach, I ignored it not wanting to ruin my happiness. My mind couldn't help but feel lost, I missed my family but I couldn't let it ruin me, I just needed to accept the fact that they don't class me as family. I shake my thoughts away from me as I see Simon standing infant of me, holding the car door open for me. "You okay? You seemed deep in thought" "Yeah I'm good" I Step out of the car, grabbing half of the bags of Nando's as Simon does the same. We reach the door and ring the bell, a few seconds passed before Ethan opened the door. "Their back" he shouts through to the other boys. "We have Nando's" Simon says, as we both step inside. We all make our way into the kitchen "You can thank JJ" I smile as we both place all the food on the kitchen island. We let Josh sort all the food out as the rest of us are just shy of useless when it comes to organising. Josh passed me my plate of food, my hunger not really there anymore. I began to eat my food, my mind still spinning. If it weren't for Simon I would be loosing my mind right now. I could feel myself spiral, I shake off the feeling once again, focusing on getting the food down me. As I finally finish my food I get off the stool and head into the main room. I plonk myself on the sofa, my mind still all over the place. I eventually come to the conclusion that I want to tell Simon everything about my family before we tell the boys about us. I need to get rid of this knot in my stomach, and the only way I can do that is by saying what I'm feeling and get it over and done with. I exhale the air inside me I didn't realise I was holding and calm myself. "JJ?" I jump in my skin and turn to see Simon behind me as well as Tobi, Vik and Ethan. "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you" "Its okay" I say, catching my breath once more. "You seem on edge Jide" Tobi says. "A little, Simon can we talk?" I say. "Yeah" "Lets go upstairs" I say and let him follow me up the stairs to my room. I close the door behind him and we make our way to my bed.  I sit on the edge of the mattress as Simon sits beside me. He takes my hands In his, brushing my knuckles with his thumbs, reassuring me. "I want to tell you everything about my family and what's going on, I need to get this knot out of my stomach before I actually go insane" I catch my breath as I let that sentence sit. "Im here to listen JJ, its okay" he says, tightening his grip on my hands. "It all started a few months ago, my parents put all their time and support in Deji. I was okay with it because I know he needed them. I started to loose contact with them, until we finally arranged for me to see them around a couple of months ago. It was awkward, they didn't know what to say to me. My mum kept going on her phone to talk to someone. She and my dad excused themselves and they left the room, she left her phone on the chair she was sitting at so I used my thumb print to get in. I opened her most recent chat that was with my brother, they were talking about me and how I'm pointless to the family and he was begging her to just drop me for good so I wouldn't be in the way of the 3 of them being a family. I stormed up the stairs and found them all crowded in Deji's room, I passed my mum her phone and told her I'd seen enough. I argued with my brother and we ended up having a fight and my parents blamed it on me and protected him instead of standing up for what they believed was right. The last time I spoke to them after that was when I ditched sidemen filming to go see them, I wanted to clear the air but It didn't work and I need up leaving after my brother punched me in the eye. Im sorry I gave you the cold shoulder when I got back, I didn't want to hurt any of you with anything I was feeling inside." As I let it all out I feel a huge weight being lifted of my shoulders as everything I had kept bottled up for so long was finally pouring out. 

Simon

I listen to every word that comes out of his mouth, understanding everything he's saying. When he finally finishes speaking I wipe away the loose tears falling from his eyes. "They won't last long without you Jide, they'll soon realise what they've lost and come back to you. Even if they are too blind to see what they are missing out on, you still have all of us and I promise you, none of us are going anywhere." I place my lips on his and let his head fall onto my shoulder. "Im so lucky to have all of you, especially you" he says. "Were all just as lucky to have you JJ" I say, he takes his head off my shoulder and smiles. "Now that I've got that off my chest, theres something else". he begins. "What else?" I ask. "I want the boys to know about us" As the words fall out of his mouth I kiss him. "Me too" I respond, a huge smile on my face as well as his. "Lets go join them" he says. "After this" I push him back against the mattress, climbing onto him and aggressively pushing my lips onto his as he does the same, I swirl my tongue with his and finally pull away. "We can carry on later" I wink at him and pull him off the bed. "Your such a tease" he says, pouting. "I giggle as a smile grows on his face "I love you Si" "And I love you Jide"

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