y/n
"i'm gonna post something on your story." i tell him.
"and what's that?"
"i don't really know many people, so i'll just tell the people they should to add me." i say.
"ah, okay." he says.
i keep forgetting that this is only an act. we're not really boyfriend and girlfriend... are we? i don't know if this is fake or... actually real... does he actually like me? or does he just want to toy with me..?
i take a short video of the camera pointing at him and then me. jaemin smiles in the video and i look at it with a smile. i then decided to send it to me along with posting it on his story saying "add me @ y/f/n".
"you're sure smiley right now." jaemin says. the car then pulls into a driveway.
"i guess..." i say. why is my heart beating so fast..?
we get out of the car and i hand jaemin his phone.
"thanks." he says. i nod a bit shyly.
jaemin
why do i feel this way? instead of busting a nut i'm gonna be busting the biggest uwu ever because of this adorable, silly, little girl.
y/n's fucking up my brain.
and also instead of because on top of her while fucking her i want to be on top of her while cuddling her and planting kisses on her face while telling her how cute she is.
and instead of wanting to stay up all night to have sex with her i'm wanting to stay up all night to talk and laugh with her.
ugh! y/n can't change me! it won't happen! i just have to do something. persuade her to get in bed with me or something so i can stop being stupid!
we walk inside and we take off our shoes. i place my keys on the counter, then running my hands though my hair.
"you wanna go downstairs or in my room?" i ask her.
"i-it doesn't matter to me..." she responds.
she's so different now than she was at school... right now she's so shy... when before i thought she was going to decapitate me. why is she so different now...
"let's go to my room. since i want to get something from there anyway." i tell her.
"alright..." she agrees. we walk to my room and i turn on my colored lights to blue.
"you like my room?" i ask her as she looks almost mesmerized by the lights.
"yeah." she says. i let out a small laugh.
i look to my closest, which makes me think of something.
"you know what would make you cuter than you already are? wearing one of my hoodies." i tell her.
"w-what?"
"you should wear one." i tell her.
"o-okay..." she responds. i walk to my closet, taking out a black hoodie that says "balencia" on it.
i hand it to her, and she just kind of holds onto it.
"aren't you gonna put it on, silly girl?" i ask her with a slight laugh.
"o-oh, yeah..." she then pauses for a second, turning to me. "umm... i'm not wearing anything under this... well... besides a bra but... yeah..." she says.
"it's fine. i'll just not look."
"i don't believe that for a second but okay..."
she turns around facing the way, taking off her sweatshirt she was wearing. jaemin... this is your chance... i walk up behind her, then putting both of my hands on both sides of her, trapping her on the wall. she turns around, looking at me, and i can't keep my eyes off of her.
"j-jaemin-"
"sh... i promise i won't hurt you..." i tell her. i start by kissing her neck, and she tenses up. i start moving lower and lower down... my hands feel her bare waist when i then hear a noise...
crying.
"j-jaemin... please stop... no... please..." she begs, starting to cry harder.
"jaemin. stop it." a voice in my head tells me.
i take my lips off of her, then looking into her eyes. the tears starting to fall down her cheeks make my heart feel heavy. she looks so beautiful while crying... but it breaks my heart to see such a pretty girl cry... especially because i'm the reason.
"i'm sorry..." i whisper to her. "i'm sorry..." i then grab the sweatshirt of mine she would wear off the floor where she dropped it, and helping her put it on. when the sweatshirt is then on her small body, i wrap my arms around her, and she cries into my chest.
"i'm sorry..." i say once more to her. she continues to cry, and i rub the back of her head with my hand.
nice going, jaemin. you fucked up big time.
"j-jaemin... i'm scared... he touched me... he hurt me..." she whimpers. what does she mean..? did... someone do something to her..?
"y/n... what happened..?" i ask her.
"he made me... i didn't want to a-and he made me and h-he-"
"shh... it's okay... it's okay... i'm sorry..." i then let go of her, seeing her face with tears dripping down it. i put up my hand to wipe the tears of her cheeks, but she flinches, moving away from me.
"you're scared of me now... aren't you..?" i ask her calmly. she doesn't say anything as she keeps crying. "y/n... i promised i wouldn't hurt you..."
"but you want to do things with me... i don't want to... that's what he did... e-even though i said no... he hurt me..." she cries even harder.
"i'm not, y/n... i won't... i won't hurt you... i won't do anything you don't want me to do to you... i'm sorry..." i tell her.
y/n has really fucked my brain up... i went from not caring and having sex with anyone i pleased... to this. whatever the fuck this is.
do i actually have feelings for her..? some silly new girl that just decided to show up and fuck up my brain and change my life in a matter of hours.
y/n
the way he's looking at me. he's different. he actually looks like he cares deeply about me. he's truly sorry. this emotion isn't something that someone can fake. unless he's a pretty damn good actor... but i doubt it.
but i'm scared... he's going to hurt me like i was hurt before... physically and mentally... but would he really? does he care about me that much? or is it all just an act to get me in bed?
i don't know, but all i know right now is that he is sorry...
