Way Down We Go

Chapter Thirty Eight

Taking a big, deep breath of ice cold air, I exhaled in relaxation, watching my breath become cloud in front of my face. It ascended the air, turning into nothing as it rose. Where does it go, I wondered, taking a sip of hot coffee in my large, purple mug, watching the bright blue sky on top of the great, snow covered mountains of my past and present. Where does it go when it is no longer one with this world? Where does anything, everything go when it is done with the world as we know it? Where does the spirit travel once it leaves the body? Was it a man's right to know?

I shook those thoughts from my head, taking in another gulp of the hot coffee in my gloved hands. Although my first time with the Valois-Medici clan had been the one to touch my heart the most, Lacey Lucerra with the Brights in Alaska had the most beautiful scenery that touched my heart in ways others couldn't compete with. I adored the snow and the feeling of community, the isolation from troubles and contentment from fear. The only thing either of us had to fear up here was fear itself.

As soon as I had been legally emancipated, the first thing that I had done had been to buy a ranch house complex up in the snow covered wilderness of the area I adored the most. Although my beautiful castle in Montana had almost always been coated in snow half the time out of the year, it couldn't hold a handle to my beautiful Alaska, who's beauty had pierced my heart like no other. The lovely, elderly couple who had loved me for that little while in which they had me had been gifted the silver place in my heart. Of course, nobody could compare to the Valois, but I adored the Bright's just the same. If Henry and Catherine could've adopted me like they had sworn to me they would when I was taken away, if that honour had been gifted to the Bright's instead, I would've been most content.

My home here was nothing special, but it was somehow more treasured to me than my castle in which I had made a life. A spacious cabin that was loaded with blankets and items from the 90s, like the stove and the TV and the lamps, thick blankets and shrugs and woollen scarves and fur coats that kept me warmer than any man or bottle ever did. One bedroom and one bathroom, a little living room and a tiny kitchen. It made me secure in a way no security guard or embrace ever could. Nobody could harm me here. I wasn't a big celebrity with billions of dollars of income, I was just an ordinary young woman who adored to sled for hours at a time and who was remembered at the only restaurant within a hundred miles. It was beautiful and small, everything I had ever wanted.

A large shed that was covered in tens of hay bales and blankets had been my pride and joy. Not for the complex itself, but for the dog sled team I had been gifted as puppies for the only birthday I had spent here. I had visited them constantly, adored them as much as I did my dogs at home. But these weren't lovable bundles of fuzz I could hold all day. No, these were pack animals who were athletes in their own rights. But I loved them as much as I had loved any animal I had ever had.

I had been here for two days, but it had settled my mind and my soul like no pill I had taken did, or any treatment centre I went to had. The sense of community and normalcy, the feeling of being normal and not a celebrity. Just a chance to be me, not any of my own regenerations or the one of my own creation. Just me.

I drained my coffee and went back into the chalet. Slowly walking over towards the sink, I placed the dish into the little metal square. The thermal clothes I wore looked nothing like the Gucci or Geivenchy I had worn for the last years. No, the simplicity of thick leggings under sweats and long sleeved shirts under knitted jumpers under a second had felt more comfortable and honest than ever. No wigs and no makeup, no worry for paparazzi nor any worry for cell phone service or locations. It was comfortable and everything I had ever wanted. If I could give up all my fame and fortune and live an honest little life in this beautiful ice box until the day I die, I would be quite content.