12- Where do we go from here?

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12 - Where do we go from here?


When Gerard woke the next morning it took him a second to feel the arm draped over his side. As soon as he did, he became aware of the breath against the back of his neck and the way his leg was tangled with another. 

For a moment he felt panic build inside him. Normally when he woke up groggily sharing a bunk with someone it meant that he'd had a heavy night and ended up sleeping with Bert. But as he blinked open his eyes he was unmistakably in his own bunk, with his clothes on, albeit a bit hungover. 

That's when the night before came flooding back to him, and he turned gently, or as gently as he could when he was in a tour bus bunk, and saw Frank sleeping next to him. 

Frank, who was now single. And had kissed him again last night. And was still now holding him. 

The bus was still moving, so he was awake earlier than normal. He was a little glad though, as it meant he had a moment to collect his thoughts whilst Frank slept. How could it be possible for someone to look so good whilst they slept? His lips were parted, lip ring still shining even in the dim light of the bunk, and his hair was sticking up at messy angles. He looked beautiful, and Gerard once again wondered how the hell someone as talented and funny and attractive could really want to end a whole relationship because of him. 

Frank did always have a habit of seeing the good in anyone, and he had always been protective of him despite being younger. 

Gerard shifted a little as he looked at him, but it caused the guitarist to stir, groggily opening his eyes and stretching out his legs. 

"Hey" He gave Gerard a lopsided smile "did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah, really well" Gerard felt kind of shy, which was so weird to feel around Frank. But this was a very strange and very new concept. Sure, they used to fall asleep on each other in the van when they were touring, but it was never like this. In the bubble of his bunk, they felt shut away from the rest of the world. 

"Good, I was worried about you last night" Frank reached up and started playing with the ends of his hair.

"I'm fine" Gerard said quickly, not wanting to ruin the moment by talking about the pills and the drink "what about you? Do you feel alright about last night? Luke, I mean."

"I don't regret it Gee" Frank raised an eyebrow "and you need to stop thinking I do. I told you, I would've ended things regardless of what happened between us. But, well, I can't lie and say they are completely unrelated either. I think kissing you gave me the push I needed."

"Where do we go from here?"

"I have no idea" Frank sighed "I just know this feels right, but I'm also terrified of screwing it up."

"Me too" Gerard mumbled "I... You're my best friend and I know it probably isn't a good idea but... well, here we are."

"I care about you so much Gee, I don't want to start something if it's going to stress you out and make you worse... If you just need me to be a friend right now I can do that." Frank still had his hand in Gerard's hair, but he kept it still as he waited for a reply.

"I don't want to just be friends" Gerard admitted "I know I'm a mess but you help, and you always will help, more than anyone."

That was all Frank needed to close the distance between them, pulling Gerard' head towards his by the neck and kissing him. Gerard was surprised at first, but quickly kissed him back, deepening the kiss and moving so that their bodies were pressed together. Their legs had already been tangled, but now he could feel Frank's chest pressed against his. 

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