The sorrow within her music

A talk to daddy

 [This chapter may make some of you well up with tears so,, theres you're warning   enjoy]

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Opening my eyes I freaked out a little bit seeing a face in front of mine but noticed it was just Jaces “must of fallen asleep”i mumbled to myself.

Crawling to the end of the bed I saw my case out side the closet (my bed room) door, picking it up and putting a jacket on I walked out of the room and through he dorm,looking up at the night sky I figured it was around eight pm pulling my mobile phone out I looked at the time and realized I was spot on. Slipping it back in my right pant pocket I made my way out of the school and down the streets and ally ways until two hours I reached the cemetery .

Hiking through to the back of the commentary took me a half out until I sat down on the raised cement slab that was next to the grave of the man that looked after me end adopted me.

“things are so different now you're gone” I ran my fingers over the grave , holding the violin case in front of the grave I exclaimed

“ I kept it safe dad,and I've been practicing a lot every day in fact, here i'll show you”i opened my case and took the violin and bow out , standing up I face dads grave and lifted the violin placing it on my left shoulder, cringing a bit in pain

“sorry dad I was kicked in the shoulder earlier to day so if I stop you know what its from”i smiled at the grave . Moon light breaking through the trees around me I started playing the lullaby he had made for me when I couldn't sleep,

hearing leaves crunch in the distance I whipped my head around but couldn't see anything. I then proceeded to play PACHELBEL CANON IN D just bringing the bow back and cross the strings of the violin I played the notes of the sing letting a tear floe down my cheek playing through the pain that flared up in my shoulder.It had dislocated from the kick but I pulled it back in place once I had gotten to the music cabin in the forest that afternoon, by the end of the song I was smiling.

“I've improved quite a lot, i'm no were near as good as you were tho, but it helps that I use the violin you left me, it makes me feel as if you're there with me practicing”i placed the violin and bow in the case and left it open.

“do you remember when we hadn't a care in the world, when you would visit me, the day you adopted me, you were like my angle,”looking at the ground I continued

“but I guess you really are an angle now huh”looking up I kicked the tree next to his grave

“DAMN IT!,you were just to kind and god took you from this world”.

After staring up at the sky for two minutes I spoke again “you know, sometimes I wonder do you remember me at all, or does another child call for you in her waking night mare just as I had”feeling my face heat up and tears wanting to gush out.

“it's just so hard. I need you I can barely live no more,

you saved me,”idiot, why'd you throw yourself in front of the knife. When it was meant for me”

dropping to my knees I let the tears flow freely

“ It turned out to be the last thing you'd ever do, ALL YOU EVER DID WAS GIVE, didn't I tell you , I told you it was OK , it was okay to leave.”

yelling my frustration and sorrow into the night sky I took a deep breath and calmed down a bit “stupid why'd you have to help me.now, now your never here, I need you how could you leave me ,

DADDY WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO STUPIDI promise ill never ask for anything, if I can rewind time and take your place , you told me you were going to stop me from hurting, you lied