Celadon Bay - Book One

Six days left

Two days later, a pissed-off Martin and I walk toward our last official week of school; our last official week of school together, and the last official week of my life. Period.

Martin is pissed because, as both of us expected, I still haven't told Veronica a damn thing. So, unusual as it might sound, we're walking in complete and uncomfortable silence, the kind of silence I usually love, and Martin loathes, except today we're switching places. Today this feels like a death march.

"Martin, come on. Say something."

No answer.

"I never thought I'd say this," I tell him, "but I prefer it when you're your usual manic self."

Still no answer.

A couple more blocks of icy silence later, we reach the corner where we always meet Vee, but this time she appears to be late. I come to a stop to wait for her, but Pissed King Martin keeps walking.

"Hey!" I yell after him. "Aren't you going to wait for Vee, too?"

Again, no answer; he keeps walking. Okay, if that's how he wants it, that's how it's going to be.

"Jeez. No wonder you have no friends!" I call out.

It's a low blow, I know, but it has the effect I was hoping for. Martin comes to a full stop, balls his fists, and glares at me over his shoulder. "What the fuck did you just say?"

A reaction! Finally!

I stand straighter, up for the challenge of bringing Martin back to normal. "You heard me."

He walks back at me. "No, I don't think I heard your pussy-farts clearly, asshole." Then he grabs onto my shirt and yanks me to him. "Would you mind saying that again to my fucking face?"

"I said, and I'll repeat it for your shit-stuffed ears, that it's no wonder you don't have any fucking friends, Martin."

"Take that back!"

"I'm not taking it back!" I snap. "Just because I'm doing things my way instead of yours, you decide you can't talk to me anymore, so you proceed to walk around like I don't even exist? What's next? Pouty lips? Throwing a tantrum like a fucking six-year-old boy who didn't get the candy bar he wanted? You're so full of yourself that you can't stand it when others don't follow you blindly, and that's why no one fucking likes you!"

"Oh, so you think you're doing the right thing when you lie to my fucking friend Vee, hiding from her the fact that, six days from now, there will be no more fucking John in motherfucking Celadon Bay. But, oh no! This is all about me having things my way, right, my friend?" The sarcasm in his voice when he spits out those two last words hits me right in the gut. He pushes me the hell away from him, and I crash against one of the trees lining the sidewalk. "I might not be very good at making friends, John. But I care a lot for the few I have. And good thing I do, because when your stupid last-minute-dating strategy breaks Vee's heart in just a matter of days, I'll be the only one around here to pick up the pieces."

"I will tell her!" I bark back at him. "I'm just waiting for the right time to do it! How can I get that message through that thick skull of yours?"

"Oh, please, John. Don't give me that shit." He holds out an open palm in the air between us. "All you're doing is delaying the inevitable and then it's going to be too fucking late to make things right. You're going to hop on that fucking plane and leave me to clean up the mess you're going to leave behind because you're too fucking scared of the truth. That's right! You're in fucking denial, and you're scared to take responsibility. Such a big man, John!"

I can see Veronica in my periphery walking towards us, and I quickly straighten up my shirt and fix my backpack on my shoulders. "So, you're basically saying that I'm a coward with no balls for keeping Vee in the dark about this."

"I'm glad you at least understand that much." Martin runs his hands through his hair. "You're just a little fucking chickenshit who can't face reality. It's no wonder YOU have no friends, John."

"Guys? What's going on?" Vee walks tentatively over to me, and kisses my cheek. "Wait, are you guys fighting?"

"Fighting?" Martin says sarcastically. "No, Vee. We're just having a little disagreement, isn't that right, John?"

"A disagreement," Vee says, mulling over the word. "Okay, that sounds like the two of you, I guess. Am I allowed to know what is this all about?"

And this is it. If Martin wants me to speak to Vee about my moving, I guess this is the time. I can't avoid it anymore, not with Martin standing right beside me, red-faced and furious. But, as pissed off as I am, I have to admit he's right; I'm too scared to do it. "Go ahead," I tell Martin. "Just tell her. I don't even care anymore."

Martin sighs, and buries his fisted hands into his pockets. "OK," he says. "I was planning to do this summer camp thing with Alex and his friends, just like last summer–

Wait a minute, is he lying to Vee?

"But this fucking pussy here doesn't want me to tell you about it because he thinks it will upset you if he leaves."

I raise an eyebrow at my cousin. Okay, Martin. You win this one. And you've really managed to make me feel like a complete piece of shit.

"What? Is that it?" Veronica looks at us in turns, her brows pinched together. "Is this why you both look like you want to gouge each other eyes out of their sockets? Well, I don't buy it. I know you both too well. Sorry."

Martin gestures at me with both hands. "Then this fucker has the nerve to tell me I don't care enough about other people's feelings." He walks past us, headed back toward home, but not before he puts one last nail in my coffin. "And that's why I don't have any friends at all, isn't that right, John?"

"Martin, school is the other way!" Vee calls out. She nudges me to do something, but I'm rooted in place, unmoving. Dead inside. "Martin!"

But he doesn't stop, and I'm too much of a coward to face the whole damn cynical truth.