Jumble of Different Thoughts

Many Years Later

It has been probably 7 years since I last glanced at this shit.

I haven't read whatever bullshit I last wrote but I can only assume it was absolute fuckin horseshit. This won't be any different, apologies in advance.

I am I'm a very different place in my life. No one could give a living shit about this but I don't give a fuck. I need to get this bullshit off my chest.

As of January 2020, I'm enrolled in culinary school. I've never felt as though I belonged anywhere in this god forsaken world before. But, in a kitchen. I'm in my fucking element, shit makes sense and expressing my passion on a plate for others to enjoy is everything to me.

This shit show of a world is all chaos, all the time. Unless I'm in a kitchen.
Seeing someone's immediate tiny satisfied smile after they've taken one bite of the food you prepared. There is nothing on this earth that is as satisfying. Except making a woman orgasm, but that's an aside.

Making incredible food for someone is akin to making them orgasm. An experience that starts with the foreplay of waiting for the main event. That anticipation, the waiting, the hope that it will be as good as they hoped.
Then it is so close to arriving. You can see it coming, you can fucking smell it it's so close.
Then you taste it. It absolutely blows your mind. Blows you out to the water with how much it astounds you. It takes time for you to recover.

I want to make food that makes people reconsider their entire fucking life. To do that to one person would make me content (not satisfied at all, but content at that moment).
Food that makes people stop for even a fuckin second and think "jesus fucking christ. I need a fuckin minute."

I don't give a fuck if it's a ridiculous goal. I know it's possible. Even if over the course of a 50 year career and only 2 person feel that way, I will be fucking happy.

And the one woman I fucking adore and want to share all my experiences with I'm in a "complicated" relationship with.
However, she is an entirely different story.