Searching For You

Chapter 37: Remembering

Rey's POV:

I'm somewhere that feels unfamiliar to me. I try my best to gain my bearings on what has happened to me over the past few months. I keep my eyes closed tight for a long time. I am afraid if I open my eyes I will see I'm still at the Rebel base, still with Seth and I'm still trapped in my own mind and body. I didn't know if my mind could mentally take it anymore. I sit up to get out of the bed wanting nothing more than to escape; not wanting another dose of that potent drug. My feet hit the floor and I try to run but my strength fails me. I feel a pair of arms catch me before I hit the ground. I freeze, the last person I was with and who touched me was my so-called psychotic husband. I elbow the person in the stomach and begin to kick and scream. I need to get away from Seth before he gives me more medicine and I am forced to watch myself do unspeakable things to people who have done nothing to me. I use my nails to claw at Seth's face and try to make a run to the door but strong arms hold back. "Rey it's me, you need to stop," a male voice that's so deep and so gentle pleads. "NO! LET GO OF ME YOU MONSTER." I can feel Ben though our bond for the first time in a long time, I can feel him so close to me. "BEN HELP ME! LET GO OF ME." I break free of Seth's arms and run to the door but it's locked. I feel a pair of hands on my shoulders. I freeze and tense up as I wait for the feeling of the needle to pierce my neck.

Ben's POV:

I can feel the blood on my face from Ray's nails but I'm unfazed by her attempts to hurt me. I'm holding her as tightly I can but she is using all her strength to break free from me. "Ray it's me, you need to stop." She shakes her head no still not opening her eyes, her whole body trembling. "NO! LET GO OF ME YOU MONSTER." She screams. Rey calling me a monster hurts me more than the physical wounds she has given me, the last time she called me a monster I was still Kylo Ren. 'Creature in a mask.' I use our bond to calm her down and to comfort her, to let her know that I'm here. "BEN HELP ME! LET GO OF ME." I feel tears running down my face. 'I am here Rey.' I say through our bond but she doesn't hear me. Rey uses the force to throw me against the wall. She runs to the door but I had it locked in case this was her reaction. Before she can use the force to open the door I stand up and put my hands gently on her shoulders.

I feel her body tense up. "Do it Seth. But you should know I will break free and I will get back to Ben." My heart breaks. "Rey, open your eyes, your ok now. You are safe. It's me, Ben. I love you Rey." I plead with her. She turns around and opens her eyes slowly, our eyes locking instantly. "Ben." The realization hits her, she puts a hand on my cheek over the scratch marks "I'm so sorry Ben, I didn't mean to hurt you. I thought you were Seth trying to give me more of that drug." I say nothing, she starts to cry, I know she is still trying to process and figure what happened to her. I watch her hug her stomach and she cries harder as the loss of our child hits her. I pull her close to me and try to reassure her that everything will be alright and that I'm here now. I also know that I can only help her through the grieving of our child so much. She will have to find her way through some of it on her own. I move us back to the bed and we just lay there crying in each other's arms. Allowing us to mourn the loss of our child together. We stay like that for a while till we run out of tears. We continue to lay there in silence, not knowing what to say to each other next. I catch her up on everything she missed to the best of my ability. Only leaving out the part where I met our baby girl and sent her to my mom, not sure she was quite ready for that, fearing it would be too much right now. When I'm done, Rey takes a moment to take in all the information. "After all this, we deserve a day off," Rey attempts to joke in order to lighten the mood. "Well, what about tomorrow? We could go exploring after you rest some more." I say with a smile. "Ben Solo, are you asking me out on a real date?" She asks sarcastically with an expression on her face I find on her face irresistible. I decide to kiss her passionately instead of using my words to answer her.