Searching For You

Chapter 30: Rey's Worries

Ben's POV:

Maz leads us outside after taking the book from my hands. She points someone out to Rey, Maz takes me over to a table where we can sit. "I'm glad you are back to the Light Ben but the light is not where you belong." I was extremely confused by her statement at first, but I think I know where she is heading with it. "I am no longer part of the Darkside..." I begin while preparing to defend myself when she interrupts me. "No, child. Gray is where you belong." She looks over at Rey who is talking to someone about getting fuel and supplies. "For you both." 'Gray, what is Gray?' I think to myself before responding. "I never heard of Gray anything before, I was only ever taught of the Light and Dark sides of the force. I had heard rumors of a third side which I came to discuss with you, is that what you are referring to." She shakes her head. "There is always a place between choices. Come sit with me, I will tell you about the Gray Jadi order." I sit with her and she tells me everything about the Gray Jadi's of the past. I am completely fascinated with the concept and the more she tells me, the more certain I become in knowing that's where I belong in the force. When she is done, she asks about what other questions I may have. I ask about the Jedi legends I came here to know more about. I ask her about the ways of the Old Republic, what they believed in. I asked her about our force bond, I only knew what I could find of it. She answers them all. According to Maz, a dyad was much stronger and deeper than a force bond. She explains, "A force bond dates all the way back to the days of the Old Republic, a bond was made between Master and Padwan. This was called a force chain or a Jadi kinship, this was to help the Padwan learn the ways of the Force and also to give the Padwan someone to identify with since they separated from their parents at such a young age. A force dyad is a bond made by the force itself. Two becoming one." She looks over at Rey again and smiles, I follow her gaze watching as Rey begins walking over to us. "It's like the force has married two individuals together. Nothing but the force itself being able to separate them." She sneaks in before Rey approaches us. Maz presses the book we found earlier into mine and Rey's hands. "Take the book. It is not mine to keep. Hopefully, it will answer any questions you might have left." She says before leaving us to our own devices.

When Rey and I get back to the ship, Rey goes to the cockpit to take off while I go to the cargo bay to look for Rey's ancient Jadi text. After reading on my own for a while, I take the book I am currently working on to go sit with Rey. I sat down next to Her, who was still in the cockpit, not that it surprised me to find her there anymore. I hold Rey's hand with one of mine as I hold the book and start reading again with the other. I need to know more about the Gray Jedi. I read about them, their practices, their beliefs, and their history. I look up from the book for a moment to see Rey just staring out the window while rubbing the back of my hand with her thumb. What catches my attention the most though is the pain and worry look in her eyes. "Rey, what's wrong?" I ask while I place the book down. I desperately want nothing more than to take the pain away from her. She starts to cry and my heart aches to see her like this. I pull her out of the pilot's seat and into my lap so she can rest her head on my chest as I hold her close. "I don't want to end up like my parents... I want to do what's best for our child... but... I don't want to raise it like this... Not in harm's way... not while...while... people are coming after us." She explains in between sobs. I feel my heartbreak because I know she is right. She is always right about this kind of stuff as much as I would hate to admit it. "We will figure it out when I get there ok? Just one thing at a time." I say while trying to soothe her worries best I can even when I don't know the answers yet. I feel her shake her head in agreement and I press a comforting kiss to the top of her head. We stare out the window for a while just content to be together. "Where should we go now?" Rey asks, "We can't keep just flying forever." I turn to look through the books and their different charts. "Do you think you can get us here?" I ask as Rey pulls the charts from my hands, "Zonama Sekot? There is nothing really nearby which might work in our favor so I don't see why not. It's not like we have anywhere else to go. I just hope these charts are accurate." She said as she started to punch in coordinates. I'm just hoping I made the right call for all three of us.