Uninspired Writer

silence is kindness

just once, i want to be true, and receive silence

to be given the utter deafening lack of voice, the purest communication, without the need for audible speech or written emotion

with the only noise being your gentle breaths, and my quickening heartbeat
a slight static on the other side of the line
rain splattering against my headphones
cars passing by, slowing to be safe
and my tires bumping against the pavement that my blood and sweat are spilt upon

just once, i want to drop the act
to be strong enough to ask for help

i'm a laborer, and a liar, who doesn't need sleep
i can only promise to be your savior, and you can only trust me until that day comes

but for now, i want to be under your wing
to reach out my hand, and be warmed by yours
to wear the jacket you'll never put on again

i can be there, to put a scarf on your shoulders
and to ruffle your messily done auburn hair, when you're in need of comforting

i can be there, to love my life, and enjoy yours with you, and to agree to disagree over the little irrelevant arguments we'll share

but tonight, i need you, to be strong for me
knight in shining armor, oh heavenly phoenix,

i just want to be, myself, broken, but genuine
to tell my story, and receive, not blind kindness
but silent understanding

to shed tears, and not be told to wipe my eyes
to cry out in anguish, and not be told to "be strong" or "don't worry"

to just be given a quiet eye, and an arm around my shoulder, and a blanket on my lap

just once, just this once, i don't want to be the hero, but the maiden in distress
who plays Lacrimosa as she waters down her morning tea, and turns her stew thin

to not worry about who i will be, or who i am to others right now
but to who i am to myself

just once, i want to dance against the wind, and scream against the sky
to sing horribly off key, and to crash and bleed

and to be given the firm hand that does not fear, the eyes that pierce through my mind, a voice that doesn't quite reach my ears

the hand that knows my fingers, like my confidence, crack under pressure
the eyes that always see, that i'm desperate for salvation, and see the path for me, with light and the end
the voice that knows what to say, and that now isn't the time to say it

comfort, to stop the shaking
clarity, to see that i am safe through the night
silence, is kindness