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Since finding out about the truth of her mother's murder, Alvina hadn't been the same. She was irrational, angry, and she could feel herself losing control. She wasn't sure what was happening but the light that had once shone within her, a light of morality and compassion, was beginning to die. Or perhaps it was already dead.
She wasn't sure why she felt this way, but it was as if her whole life was a lie.
Somehow, Ivar had trusted her enough to let her wander out alone. She was grateful, but knew that she shouldn't really have such trust.
Half the time, neither of them even spoke. But in the night, when he thought she wouldn't notice, Ivar often crawled over to lay beside her. She didn't mind. In fact, the company was quite nice. She'd often found it hard to sleep, nightmares tormenting her every dream, but they seemed to go away when Ivar was there. In fact, as odd as it may seem, he was her only real form of comfort.
In that specific moment, Alvina sat on the riverside. Her fingers ran through the water as she tried to steady her thoughts. Aethelwulf had always said that a princess must remain calm and collected.
Oh how she missed her father, and her brothers of course. She wondered if Magnus was alright, out there in the world alone. She wished she could hug him again, tell him that all would be well and that their mother was looking down on him with a smile. She wished that she could see Æthelred and hear his stupid jokes. That she could sit and laugh with him again, as he had always been her best friend. She wished that she could talk to Alfred again, hear his words of wisdom that always soothed her.
But most of all she wished for her father's embrace. She wished he would hold like he always had when she was a child, and told her that she would be okay because he would always be with her. But he wasn't with her. No one was with her. She was alone. And now she was forced to fight all these demons alone too. She wasn't sure if she was strong enough.
"Christian," The word made her ears perk up. She looked around for the source, soon realizing that a few warriors were staring at her and talking in their language. She supposed they thought she couldn't understand. They were wrong, of course.
"Why is a Christian living among us? It isn't right." A warrior confessed.
His friends seemed to agree, though one did contradict him, "Prince Ivar says that she is useful."
"He is a cripple." The first reminded him.
"He is a son of Ragnar." The second gasped, silencing the rest.
"We still should have killed her." One of them muttered quietly.
At this, Alvina wasn't sure what came over her. She stood in the water, her eyes ablaze with fury. "Then kill me." She said in their tongue.
All of the warriors stared at her for a moment, before the one who had defended Ivar spoke up, "Shut up, Christian."
"No." She narrowed her eyes, her voice stubborn and filled with anger. "You want me dead? Kill me."
The man who had spoke of killing her soon stood, stepping closer to her as he towered over her. "Brave Christian, hm?"
"What's wrong? Scared I have more balls than you?" She taunted, as if trying to gain a reaction from him.
She did, of course get a reaction, as the next thing she knew she was plummeting back into the water. The man forced her under, drowning her, as her body heaved for air only to have her lungs fill with water.
As the man pulled her back up, she let out a chaotic laugh as though urging him on. Her laughter mixed with coughs - her body trying to survive as her mind craved death.
"Kill me." She dared him. The man glared back with clenched teeth, knowing that this was exactly what she wanted.
The scene was quickly put to an end, however, when Ubbe saw them.
"What are you doing?" He said as almost a threat to the man who had previously tried to drown the young princess.
"She asked me to kill her." He defended.
"So you say no!" The Ragnarsson exasperated, as though it were obvious. When the warriors had scurried off, he turned his gaze back to the princess. She still sat in the water, coughing up half the river from her lungs. Her clothes were drenched and bags hung under her eyes. He didn't have to say anything, but simply looked at her with a look of concern and pity.
