resurrect | h.s

part nine

"Oh shit." Niall says.

We watch as the nurses finish hooking him up, putting an IV in and turning the machines on. She turns around and gasps at the sight of four, formally dressed, out of breath people staring at her.

"You guys cant be here." she says as she tries to shoo us away from the door.

"Wait, please. I have to stay." I say desperately, looking over her shoulder at Harry.

"Ma'am, you can wait in the seating area."

"I'm his girlfriend!" I shout, making her step back and look at me.

I had to say it, because it might have been the only way to get in.

"Alright, come in. Just you." she says after a brief hesitation, guiding me in. I turn back to the guys quickly.

"Wait for me in the sitting room." I say.

The nurse pulls out a chair next to Harry's hospital bed and directs me to sit there.

"Is he okay?" I say while sitting down and looking at him.

"He had a seizure caused by an overdose. If it went on any longer it could have caused damage to the brain. He's very lucky. He's also stable now so he'll be alright." she informs me, looking down at Harry as well.

She leaves the room after I thank her. I look back at Harry's unconscious state. His eyes were relaxed shut, his lips were parted slightly. His now short curls were messier than before, but yet still appeared somewhat tidy because of his haircut. Both his hands were at his sides as his head was tilted slightly to face me. He looked like an angel.

I just wish I knew what was going on in his tortured mind. I wish he'd open up again. If I knew exactly what was hurting him then I'd be able to help him in some way.

I wanted him to realize that this isn't the way to cope. He's hurting himself. He's hurting me.

I could have lost him again. And this time by his own doing.

I'm so tired of seeing him in pain. I'm so tired of him hating himself.

"You really scared me tonight." I say softly, knowing he can't hear me. I grab his hand in mine."I thought you were gonna die." I say to his sleeping body.

I take a deep breath as I continue to look at him. The man I truly loved.

"Why did you have to do this?" my breath hitches. "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you more about it. I'm sorry I turned you away. I regret it, Harry. I do." I choke on my own air.

"I should have heard you out." I shake my head.

His chest rises up and down at a steady pace as he softly breathes through his mouth.

"You told me you still loved me...and I didn't say it back." I take a deep breath. "I realize now that it was a mistake. You've been turned away so much in your life and I went and did the same thing. I'm so sorry."

I pause before speaking again, saying something I should have said earlier.

"I love you, Harry."

I knew he couldn't hear me. I knew that when he woke up, it would be like I never said anything at all.

But I meant what I said. I loved this man more than he would ever know.

He drove me crazy, but he made me love the insanity. He made me fall in to a deep endearment of all his small quirks...like his lip picking, his ring twisting, his stubborn ways. Harry was this incredible force that drew me in when I was least expecting it.