Loki one-shots fanfiction ♡

28. we suffer mornings most of all

(Or maybe they still could; Buckle still flinched away at every shadow only to turn to look and see it was only either tree branch or some small animal, it clearly wasn't as bad as in his dream, though.)

The glass was emptied quickly after only five hungry gulps. Bucky slammed it down hard enough the impact could've shattered the glass, before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly as though trying to cool down whatever demon made its home inside.

He remembered Sam mentioning something about a group therapy. He didn't think even that could help with what troubled him.

What troubled him was blood on his hands, innocent's blood. The topic might be a little too disturbing to bring up among civilian whom only suffered from the death of someone that wasn't caused by their own hands.

Bucky turned off the light, left the kitchen and was on his way back to his room when something stopped him. A... crying? So faint he thought he imagined it at first.

Bucky listened more carefully until he caught the direction of which way it came from. He knew he should be minding his own business, that was what he'd been doing ever since Tony eventually agreed to let him stay; kept most to himself and talked to no one but Steve. The crying definitely wasn't Steve's, yet Bucky couldn't quite bring himself into walking away.

Ever since Brooklyn, Bucky was never good at walking away from those in need of help. It felt like a lifetime ago, like that Bucky who liked to help out others, and the man he was now were completely different person.

Bucky followed the voice until he came to a stop in front of a room with the door slightly cracked open. He carefully peaked his head inside, it was dark with the light off though, from the moonlight, he could make out a figure lying in bed, thrashing and clawing at his own neck as though he was choking.

Loki.

Bucky never talked to Loki. He only knew that Loki was a brother of Thor and Thor was a friend of Steve. That's how he remembered everyone who lived in the Avengers compound; by connecting them with Steve and by writing them down in his notebook so he wouldn't forget again (like when he forgot everything he'd ever known, including himself and Steve, HYDRA's work)

He considered leaving. Loki having a nightmare was none of his business.

You never turned your back on people before, said a small voice buried somewhere deep inside him, it sounded so much like his younger self, before HYDRA, before the Winter Soldier.

Bucky gulped and lingered there at the doorway. Loki's nightmare hadn't seemed to fade away, only grew stronger, judged by the way he whimpered in his sleep and continued clawing at his neck. Damnit.

Bucky pushed the door open and slowly entered the room. "Loki," he called, but Loki wouldn't wake up.

"Loki," Bucky called again, louder, as he got closer. Loki remained trapped in his dream.

Bucky stood over the bed. This close, he could see how terrified Loki was. And for a moment, Bucky almost wanted to walk away; the look on Loki's face reminded him too much of himself when HYDRA still had him. Bucky muttered something under his breath, then he placed a hand gently on Loki's shoulder, calling his name softly.

Loki opened his eyes and blindly reached for Bucky's face, trying to claw out his eyes but Bucky was faster, grabbing his wrists and holding him still.

"It's me!" Bucky said even if he wasn't sure if Loki even knew who he was, they never talked after all. Both of them kept most to themselves and barely interacted with anyone.