Shaped Me

Normalcy

When summer started Nile, had mentioned wanting to do the camp, and everyone thought it was a bad idea. Uncle Mike even said no, and he pretty much lets the guys get away with murder. After Nile woke up, we all without meaning to were keeping him in a bit of a bubble. He just seemed breakable. Nile was anxious to get over the whole situation. In some ways, I think I was too. Initially, we all focused on only getting through the trial with Darren that the full weight of what had happened did not settle on us. For the first few weeks, the focus was solely on making sure everything was okay. With every doctor's appointment and psych check-up, we took steps toward normalcy.

Normal. What a strange word that is. Everyone's definition of normal is drastically different. For Nile, normal used to be walking on eggshells around Darren. For Uncle Mike, it was being a guardian over one kid and now we are all trying to figure out our new normal. It's crazy how life can change so quickly. What is even stranger is the idea that normal is what we crave when we are faced with life-changing problems. Our summer has been normal. It has been weeks filled with laughter and random adventures that have become core parts of our story. Normal. We have spent countless moments on the brown couch in Uncle Mike's house watching all of the movies Nile has ever seen. There was a lot.

There we were squished together on the muddy brown couch with Lex and Jake. The guys on the outside, Lex and I in the middle. Somehow the love seat fits the four of us. It was the only furniture Uncle Mike had in the house at the time and even after he got more that still seemed to be our favorite spot. It was a typical Sunday night with an unnecessary amount of junk food and yet another Disney classic. Nile sat watching as the goddesses sang while Jake tried his hardest not to roll his eyes. He would never admit it but he was enjoying himself. Lex and I would sing along to all the songs while the guys exchanged judgmental looks. Normal.

"Come on, let's go." Jake's voice broke through my daydream. Pulling me behind him Jake maneuvered his way through the crowd with unnatural ease. This has, strangely enough, become our routine. Jake has deemed himself my bodyguard for getting through the crowds in the arena. Honestly, I can't argue because he gets the job done. Maybe it was the fact that he is basically a walking building or that his face dared you to try him, either way, we always got out of the arena in record time. Not without the occasional girl making a pass at Jake who didn't seem to care. Unbothered.

"Wait, I left the sign. I'm going to go get it."

"You sure? You're probably just going to make a new one next week." Jake says, looking behind him to see if the crowd was still bad. Nodding quickly I let go of his arm."Okay I'll meet you out front."

With everyone trying to leave the arena it was always easy to get back in the arena. Moving through the semi-crowded hallway I ignore the permanent smell of sweat. For some reason I expected a place this cold to not smell but no matter how many times I have been in this rink, the smell of sweat still surprises me. Even when they cleaned the arena it was as if the cleaning products and sweat were competing.

"Sneaking onto the ice again?" Donnie asks. His grey mustache moving as he smiled brightly. Donnie had caught Nile and I when we snuck onto the ice during the hour when you weren't supposed to be there. It was Nile's idea.

He was determined to teach me how to skate the same way he had been teaching Aria and the same way Uncle Mike taught him. Ensuring the laces on my skates were tight around the middle he pat my leg lightly. As if checking to see if I was still sure about this he smiled at me his eyes searching the way they always did. Nodding I tried to stand up before falling back on to the bench. Standing to his full length Nile held out his hands waiting for me to put mine in his. 

Placing my hand in his I don't miss the contrast of his warmth compared to the cool of the rink. Pulling me up he takes slow steps towards the empty ice rink. Whenever it came to skating Nile got this gleam in his eyes that made you want to leave him here alone. It always seemed personal for him.