Prologue

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The feathery fur of the spotted pale red queen was pricked against the snow as it fell in large flakes. She looked to her black tom companion.

"Thank you, Spiderleg," she meowed softly, "for escorting me out of camp and this far."

He blinked slowly at her, "Of course, Redflower. Shall we go back now?"

A cloud billowed from her muzzle as she sighed, "I'm afraid I must go to my sisters."

He knew better than to ask. But, he felt concern for the cat who had been his best friend since they were apprentices, "I can't just leave you out here!"

She looked to him with concern in her yellow gaze, "I'm afraid you must."

He watched as she began padding off, the snow crunching beneath her paws.

"Redflower," he called.

"I'll be fine," she replied, knowing that life was about to change for both her and her sisters.

He finally turned and found his way back into camp. His father greeted him at the entrance with a sternness, "Where is Redflower?"

"She asked to be alone," Spiderleg told Dustpelt.

"She's about to have her kits anytime!" Dustpelt argued and got to his feet.

Rolling his eyes, the elder son continued into the tunnel, calling over his shoulder, "No need to worry. She said she was going to find Squirrelflight and Leafpool."

Meanwhile, Redflower had found her littermates.

"You're really going to lie to the clans?" the queen spoke to the other, her cream tabby and white sister.

Squirrelflight's bushy tail lashed as she turned on the one who had been the runt of their litter. "How dare you speak to Leafpool like that!"

Redflower's ears fell flat, "I think she should own up to her mistake."

"She's already stressed," Squirrelflight argued, "if you won't help us, then go back to camp with your own half-clan litter."

Redflower lowered herself to the floor of the den, but she let out a snort, "At least mine isn't obvious! No one will argue that Spiderleg is my litter's father. However, only Crowfeather could be father to Leafpool's kits and we all know it." A glance was cast at the medicine cat who was moving uncomfortably, "Not that these kits should have happened anyway."

Squirrelflight was pacing now, "I don't see why you won't take her litter. I can see it, you're both going to have them today!"

"I may have my own sins to cover, but," but Redflower was cut off by Leafpool's moan.

She was kitting.

A golden tabby tom. A black she-kit. And right before the small grey tabby tom made his appearance, Redflower felt pressure inside of her.

When all was said and done, there were five kittens. Only three were mewling.

"Come on," Redflower pressured her litter of two, "breathe, talk to me!" And she and Squirrelflight viciously licked at their little bodies.

Finally, the calico-tabby she-kitten squeaked. Then, she gasped and began crying. Redflower nudged her daughter to her side to nurse. It was a new feeling, having someone tugging at her belly, but it was warm and welcome.

"Give me him," she said to her sister and took the cream tabby tom in her paws. More laps down his body, but no breath ever came from him.

"I think he was born still," Leafpool murmured from where she was suckling her litter. Her strong, vivacious litter.

Redflower pressed her nose into his wet little body. Her heart ached and she murmured, "StarClan love him."

Immediately after her prayer, she glared at Leafpool, "It isn't fair that a medicine cat should be so blessed and a warrior cursed with a sickly litter! My kits have more right than yours, you know."

And Squirrelflight defended her favorite sister, as they had always been closer to each other than to Redflower, "You cannot say that; your kits are children of Hawkfrost. And if you had forgotten, he is the cat who tried to kill Firestar!"

A low growl escaped Redflower. And then, she heard a small hiccup from one of Leafpool's kits. Leafpool nudged the little one to check him, and Redflower could see so much emotion in her sister.

She looked to her own living kit who she had decided would be Petalkit.

A mutter, "Fine, I'll take them."

Squirrelflight found Spiderleg some time later and he helped carry the four kits back to camp. The deceased tom was buried accordingly, and never would be mentioned again, though he would remain in his mother's heart.

Redflower settled into her nest in the nursery. Spiderleg groomed her while awkwardly watching the kits as they slept nestled at her side.

"They're beautiful," Daisy purred.

And Ferncloud beamed at her eldest son, "Aren't you so proud?"

"Uh," he nervously replied, "yeah."

Could they hear that he was just covering for his friend? That he wasn't the real father?

"Our grandchildren," Sandstorm nuzzled Firestar from where they sat at the edge of Redflower's nest.

And the leader gently scolded his daughter, "You shouldn't have gone out to have them. It would have been safer here."

Leafpool commented, "At least Squirrelflight and I were nearby."

Redflower nodded, but said nothing. Guilt was eating inside of her. How could she live a lie?

Not a moon had passed. The kits could not yet hear nor see. Redflower decided to leave ThunderClan. The four would be raised together as a single litter still, since almost no one knew better. Redflower requested her kits not know her name. And Spiderleg stepped down from his uncomfortable role as father. Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight would be their parents now. No one would say otherwise.

Redflower's heart felt as though it were dying as she walked out of the clan's territory that day. She could almost feel Hawkfrost's spirit at her side, begging her to go back to their daughter.

But she could not. She had disgraced herself. She could not properly, confidently, raise those kits. 

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⏰ Last updated: Dec 26, 2019 ⏰

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