Helping hand

1 - Lights out

The Off white, dilapidated paint of my bedroom wall seems to be the only thing i can seem to focus on. I can feel my alarm blaring but it's almost as though it's far away, like when your heads underwater.
That sums up how i feel right now. Underwater. It's as if theres a weight pressing on me keeping my head just below the surface, stopping the oxygen for replenishing my lungs.
I close my eyes and try to focus on the sound of the alarm to snap myself out of it. Thankfully it works and my hands wonder finding my phone and shutting off that awful sound. Throwing my bare legs off the edge of the bed, i decide a hot shower is the best way to clear my head for the morning.
The weekend had come to an end meaning that i had to stop wallowing in self pity and face the world. People suffer with struggles everyday i guess i was just another one among millions.
Stepping out of the now steam filled bathroom with a towel wrapped around me i go to pick something to wear, keeping the early September weather in mind.
I aimlessly pick a pair of ripped black jeans and a tee shirt. After drying off quickly i slip them on over my underwear. I fix my curls into a pony tail leaving a few strays to frame my face. After giving myself a quick once over i nod my head to myself and grab my backpack. As i turn to grab a jacket from the back of my door thats when i see it. Sat there in-front of everything else the obnoxious Royal blue screaming out to me. It was Her Jacket. The one she lent me a the night before she broke my heart. My best friend, or so i thought.
Before i began to dwell i put on my regular windbreaker and turn to leave, but not before i snatch the royal blue jacket causing me torment off the hook aswell.

I'll just give it back to her, it was her favourite after all. Just give it back and say nothing else.

My thoughts began racing with scenarios of what would ensue when I finally saw her. It hadn't been long, but this was my best friend, the girl I wouldn't even go a day without texting, and now it had been a whole week and not a word between either of us.

I cant say I'm not partially to blame, in her defence she did reach out to me the first two days, but gave up after sensing she wouldn't be getting a reply anytime soon. But i needed space, i needed time. She had to understand. She should have known how much her actions would effect me. We spent our best years of high school together, and just started college together. It only now dawns on me that i may have lost her for good, and that causes my heart to skip a beat. I think back to the last time i saw her and the last time she was still just my best friend.

Sidra wont stop laughing like a lunatic as she keeps slipping over small bumps and logs on the overly steep trail to the bathrooms at the camp site. How she finds the humour in almost causing herself serious injury i do not know.

"I swear to god sid slow down, if you trip one more time i'm leaving your ass out here" i shout to her as I finally manage to grab onto her elbow and steady her before she slipped through the mud

"Relax cranky pants its almost lights out so we need to get down there and backup as fast as possible" she sighs back at me.
Shes right, lights and hot water go out in 25 minutes. And considering it takes a good 12 minutes to walk back up this trail we had to get down there fast, do our business and rush back up.

"I cant believe i let you talk me into coming to this shit hole in the first place" i groan.
She rolls her eyes at me and huffs "Maleehah come on its been such an experience! When would we have ever gone camping for a week? Or done abseiling? Or canoeing? And you cant tell me it hasn't been amazing having a week long sleep over with your best friend?" She teases as she nudges my arm.

I cut my eyes at her, though i know shes right. Recently I'd barely seen her with finals and graduation and being busy at home. I missed my best friend. Sidra sees me deep in thought and nudges me again with that trademark smirk on her face knowing she was right. I shake my head at her as we finally reach the bathrooms."