Searching For You

Chapter 6: Feel

Rey's POV:

I was still yelling and crying at the unfairness of it all. At some point, I dropped to the forest floor and curled myself into a ball. I'm really surprised no one heard me. After some time I managed to calm myself down enough to stop my crying and start to think about the moment I saw him. He felt so real, I could felt his gentle touch on my shoulder and his skin underneath my hand. The realization hits me, it was real, Ben was real. It was undeniable that the force actually connected us again. I'm still having a hard time processing everything that has happened as my mind flows with new questions. 'Why couldn't the bond just hold for a little longer and what was he trying to say?' "Well, at least now I know I'm not crazy," I say. My voice is hoarse from all my crying. I feel a couple of tears fall down my cheek surprising myself with the fact I had any left at all. I will myself to stand up and try to finish my training, but all my energy has been sucked out of me. In addition, I am too distracted by trying to comprehend what Ben had said just moments ago to focus on anything else.

I decide to cut training short today and head back to the base to do some self-reflecting and research. Walking into my quarters I sit on the edge of my bed and start to think about how Ben and I have become so close. I think about the vivid dreams I had about us.

I would open my eyes and find us embracing each other. Taking advantage of the moment I reach my hand up to gently jostle his silky soft locks. After making a mental note of how peaceful he looks in sleep, I gently shake him awake. When he opens his eyes I can't help but get so lost in them and wonder what stories lay behind them. He pulled me close to him and I wouldn't dare protest enjoying the warmth of his embrace. We would whisper sweet nothings to each other as we proved through our actions the love we have for one another, though we would never dare to admit it aloud to each other. I remember the feeling of being completely intertwined with him.

The sensation felt so real and raw every time. I wish one day we would have a chance to do those things, the things that had only happened in my dreams up to this point. I would have sworn by the force that they were real if how vivid these dreams were. I think about what he said about him being stuck between the living and the dead. I want nothing more than to rescue him and bring him back to me, but I'm afraid that it is impossible but I need him with me. So I decided to do what I do best, try to search for answers in the sacred Jedi texts.

Ben's POV:

I'm sitting on Rey's bed watching her study until she falls asleep at her desk. I do my best to summon the force to lift the blanket and place it over her shoulders. It takes a lot of time, focus and strength but I eventually succeed. I release a small sigh of relief, knowing I'm still able to help her out in some small ways makes me feel good about myself. I turn to the other force ghosts who are just bickering amongst themselves on what to do next. "For them being such good friends, they sure do argue a lot," I mumble to myself while getting up from the bed to walk over to Rey. Standing next to her I feel a strange pull in the force, I have only felt this a handful of times with it being so light and faint. I think I know what it is but I am not sure. I see my mother standing silently away from the group as if she is bored with their conversation. I decided to go over to her side and talk to her since I haven't been able to in a while, I have been too busy trying to connect to Rey. We walk away from the group and sit on the bed. "Mom I need your help," I state, almost pleadingly. "I kinda figured since you brought me over here," She says jokingly. "Can you do me a favor?" I ask sheepishly. "Of course Ben, you know I would do anything for you." She says with a beaming smile as she places a hand on my cheek like she used to when I was little. "Can you go stand by Rey and tell me what you feel through the force?" She looks at me with confusion in her eyes at the question but she does not argue. She walks over there and stands there for a while searching through the force. I can tell she is shocked as she walks back over to me. "Ben if you feel what I do, why haven't you told anyone yet?" She asks me. "Because I was unsure if it is real. I had a strong feeling it was though. I don't even know if she knows yet mom and if she does she is really good at hiding it" I say with a sigh. "How long have you known?" She asks me. "Since I saved her on Exegol."