First Love at Second Life ( HAKUOKI FANFIC)

Dull Knife, Sharp Beads

" Ehh....? This is... how should I put this... Umm... "
Just when Shinpachi is thinking the word, Harada lay a hand on him.

" Frustrating? "

" Ah Yeah, exactly. "

" ... This is definitely frustrating... for Hijikata-San... no, actually, it will be frustrating for every swordsman who's on Hijikata-san's position. "
Commented Harada, furrowing his eyebrows in a troubled manner.

" Agh... I don't get it! What's up with, Shun? Why won't she attack? She's obviously has a knack on swordplay if she can dodge all those attacks. And she even do it with only one hand... you're right, Sanno-san, this is frustrating to watch. I bet Hijikata-san thinks the same. "
A second passed by after Heisuke said it, a thunderous voice coming out from Hijikata's mouth.

" SHUN! STOP RUNNING AWAY AND FIGHT SERIOUSLY! "

Everyone's present instantly stopped at whatever they're doing right now—including breathing for a second there.

" ... With all due respect... I'm fighting with all my strength... "
Shun said, but her empty expression says otherwise.

" Stop giving me that bullshit and come at me with everything you've got. "
If only look can kill, Shun will be dead on the spot right now.

" ....... I.... I can't... "
She averted her gaze to the floor, looking down as if there's something need to be hidden.

" Huh? You're going to spurt some nonsense like you're only taught on defense but not offense? Shun, I know who you are, who you really are. What I want to test is not only your physical strength, but your mentality as well. I did say before, one of the reason why I don't wanna bring you to me is because you're currently unstable. "

" ... "

" If you've got nothing to say then at least tell me why can't you attack me? I won't hear any half-ass answer like your feeling towards me. Give me, a full and clear reason why you won't attack and why should I still accept your favor to bring you to Osaka? "

Too many things happening at the same time that everyone is just solely focused on Shun's lips, waiting for an answer that will—hopefully—satisfy everyone's question.

" I... I... I can't... "
The only time when she finally showed an expression is... the desperate expression on her face. She clenched her fist so tightly as if holding something which about to slip past her grasp. If only the pain in her bitten lips can compensate all the pain in her heart, than she doesn't care if she need them to bleed a river.

Even after witnessing the desperation in her eyes, hearing the subtle shiver in her voice, feeling the tight chain around her, Hijikata still won't lay his hand on her. He knows... he knows the sincerity in her words and action, but he also knows... that she's currently acting reckless on her own, secretive, cautious with every of her words that it almost sounds like she's...

" ... I've tested your ability and I'm sure enough that you have the power to defend yourself. Guess I don't have to worry then... when I leave you alone here. "

And there he goes. The back of a man that Shun once saw overlapped with beautiful sunset when he left her for Kyoto... now it's happening again.

" Everyone is dismissed, now go back to your work. You too, Shun, rather than concerning yourself with the officers work, you better do your job properly. Like before. "

As what he ordered, everyone who's in the dojo then immediately left with a troubled expression. They're pretty sure that the woman who's hanging her head low while standing still, is now in need of help. Whatever kind of help they should've offer to her.

Should have been, that is. Because they don't understand what kind of pain Shun is going through right now, that they're afraid of say something wrong. Pity will only take a form of mockery at this point.

However... even though everyone has left, it's a different case with the spiritual.

" Well, what else can you do, right? You really can't kill a human after all. Or not allowed to be exact. "
The fox said with a hopeless snicker at the end of his words.

".... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... "

" ... What are you being sorry for? You're just following what the gods forbid you. It has always been like this, hasn't it? "

" Hic.... I... I'm so... sorry.... I'm sorry... "
Falling helplessly as she followed the flow of her tears, Shun must hold back her sobs that have been unbearable since Hijikata's departure once again.

Looking at the painfully familiar scene before him, Heiji stand still not doing anything— or to be precise, not knowing what to do. There's a feeling that keeps lingering in his heart, a mixture of hatred, guilty, and... incompetence. No one taught him what to do in this situation... No one has ever making him feel this way... except Shun.

" Shun! I... I don't know what's wrong with you, I don't understand why are you crying? Did someone hurt you? Please, say something or else I can't help you! "

"... Uhh... Sannan... sannan... and Hijikata... will go to Osaka the day after tomorrow... Sannan... will get hurt... his hand... no... no... "

"...... His hand.... Then...what do you want me to do? "

" Please... please... Heiji... refrain the accident from happening on... his hand... I-I beg you... I'm sorry... But I must prevent this... from happening again.

" ———I get it, now don't cry anymore, Shun. I don't like it when you make a pained expression like that. You just have to tell me what I have to do... like at that time. "
Such a childish small hand, and yet he's able to wrapped Shun in his warmth.

" ... Heiji... Heiji... thank you... and I'm sorry... "

" I'm fine, Shun. We've promised, right? We've promised... since I ate your mother. "