Last Girl Alive | Bangtan

72: Jung Hoseok's Past

Hoseok cut the tape. Firmly pressing the stop button on the radio he leaned back in his rolling chair and looked out the window. It was yet another Sunday and he was working. He'd come to believe he was a workaholic in a way, though why he worked so hard he had no idea. He had no need to come to the studio and stay here that long when no one listened anyway. Why produce and record over and over and over again when people had begun to lose faith, lose interes? Not one of his songs for the new album so far had been approved by the label. He was close to giving up.

He laughed at that thought, leaning back a little more to get comfortable. No he was far from giving up actually. He'd promised them a mixtape more than two years ago and yet here he was still working on it. The music wasn't bad, they'd said, in fact it fit with the trend and would very catchy. It was the message of his music. He needed lyrics that made a change. But all that ever seemed to shine through his music was his own selfish ego.

He picked up his pen to write down the last few changes he wanted to make to the lyrics. No matter how many times he crossed them out, crumpled them up or littered the bin, they were always at an 'almost perfect.' He needed the perfection. He would never be satisfied with the incomplete feeling in his heart.

But now he's overdue. It's been weeks past deadline and he still hasn't come to a conclusion. Hoseok hoped that this time, it would really go through. He wanted this mixtape to be out, to break through the market and he would put all of his blood, sweat and tears into it. He needed his soul to come alive out of it.

He hoped it would be so. He really hoped.

A knock on his door arouses him. He had no real authority anyway so the door opened, revealing perhaps the only person he could call his friend to appear

"Come on Hoseok," he whines, slinking into the room. "You've been hibernating in here all winter. Let's get out, go for a drive."

"Get out, Mickey," Hoseok rolls his eyes turning his back to Mickey at once. "I'm not up for it."

Mickey ignores him, moving to Hoseok's desk. No matter how cluttered his state of mind was, Hoseok always kept things neat in his office. He wasn't a messy man. "You're still working on the tape?" Hoseok hears him remark. "It must be driving you crazy. It's a wonder you haven't given up already with those label hounds on your back calling every week."

"I just need a piece of peace," Hoseok sighs, swiveling back around knowing he can't ignore Mickey for too long. He would never leave until he gave him his attention. "It feels like I've been back and forth too much all this time."

"Have you decided on anything yet?" Mickey sits down across from Hoseok, looking through the pile of 'maybe' which kept growing larger and larger every time he visited Hoseok in his office. "Maybe forget about the music part for a while. Focus on something else."

"Like what?"

Mickey sinks back on his own chair, realizing he'd spoken too quickly for his own advice. However it didn't take him long to think of something. "What about the cover art?"

"The cover art?" Hoseok frowns. "Why would that matter?"

"Are you kidding?" Mickey raises his eyebrows. "The cover art is everything! When people walk past your CD's on the aisle, it's the first thing they're going to see. What do you want that to be?"

"I want to stand out," Hoseok says promptly. "I don't want it to be lifeless or black and white or simple. If anything, it should be bursting with colors. Say," he begins suddenly inspired by the new direction of the conversation. He shoves a long list of possibilities into Mickey's face. "Which one's your favorite?"