A Howling in the Hills (Prev. Adjusting) (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 17 - Recovery

It took me some time to find Jude. After looking all around the pack house - including his bedroom, twice - I stepped outside via the porch door. A crisp breeze whipped around me as I walked outside. Crunching through fallen leaves, I wrapped my arms tight around myself and looked around for a mop of sandy brown hair or a flash of bright blue eyes.

When I couldn't find him in the wide backyard, I looked toward the tree line of the forest, taking in a shuddering breath as I did so. Fear slowly filled my veins the longer I looked.

Stop being such a coward, I scolded myself. You're a wolf; you live in the forest. You can't be afraid of it.

So I took a deep breath, steeled my nerves, and started towards the large maples and the thin birches. I only made it a couple of feet before pausing as a small figure emerged from the curtain of brown and green.

"Jude!" I called out while waving him over to me.

His head shot up and his eyes met mine before he nodded and started towards me. I decided to meet him half-way and walked to him as well.

"What were you doing out there?" I asked once we were closer.

"Just, you know, going for a walk," he mumbled, shuffling his feet.

I raised an eyebrow but otherwise let the issue drop. Finding it silly to stand out in the middle of the yard, I suggested we walk back over to the outdoor furniture, to which he agreed. So we walked back towards the large house with only the crunching sound of red and yellow leaves and the slight whistling of the wind to break the silence.

By the time we made it back, Jude seemed anxious. He was wound up tighter than a drum as he sat stiffly upright on his chair; quite different from my exhausted sprawl on my own chair. I let out a yawn and rubbed my eyes slightly before clearing my head and really looking at the boy.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

He glanced up at me briefly before dropping his gaze just as quickly. He seemed deep in thought as he moved his gaze from his lap toward the forest. Several silent moments passed before, just when I was about to repeat my question, he spoke.

"I don't belong here, Adrian," he said quickly.

I wasn't really surprised by his answer, more so that he answered at all; and truthfully, at that.

"I get where you're coming from," I replied, watching him look back at me with confusion.

"That's exactly how I felt when I first joined the pack. Hell, I still feel that way pretty often - after all, I haven't been part of this pack very long at all. However, I've learned that this pack takes care of its own. So even if you don't feel like part of the pack, someone does."

Jude's nose scrunched up as he looked a me as though he was hoping and praying that that were true, but couldn't believe that it was.

"Why would they ever care about me?" he asked. I could see the desolation in his eyes, and it broke my heart.

The worst part was that I didn't know how to respond. I was asking myself that same question, nowadays.

"I don't know," I replied honestly after a brief moment of silence.

The look of absolute heartbreak in his eyes nearly destroyed me. Because of it, I got up from my chair and went over to him. I pulled him out of his chair - ignoring the look of surprise on his face - and pulled him in for a hug.

We stood there for a while, hugging each other tightly. I felt a slight wetness on my shoulder where his head rested, and tried hard to ignore my own tears.