random writings

My Story.

Tourettes Syndrome.

What you call a simple task can be the hardest thing to a tourettes patient. We roam the halls of our schools-not looking for attention- just trying to fit in like everyone else. Tourettes makes everything hard to us. Sometimes just getting food can be a hard task. We get up and we have to do a tic (tic - a physical movement or vocal noise) and it may take 5 minutes till we are done with it. Till we're ready to move. You can't just let it slide by. Its not that easy.

My personal experience.

I have tourettes syndrome. I have had it for almost 6 years now. I was diagnosed at 9 years old but had signs of it at an earlier age.

When it began I didn't know what was going on. I thought I was honestly going crazy. But once I was diagnosed it was all still a big blur. Again I still didn't know what was happening. "Why me?" "Am I crazy?" "Can I die from it?" These were common questions I asked people. I really had no clue. But once I dealt with it for awhile some pieces came into place, not all, but some.

At one time I had a tic where I groaned really loud. Almost yelling but with my mouth closed. That night me and my dad we're in our back porch and he said "imagine if your mouth was open." Of course he was joking and we laughed about it, but come the next day myouth had opened during the tic and I was now screaming. It was so bad I had to be pulled out of school. This just goes to show, its all in the mind. My mind controls me to make these noises. But with a little if teaching I could possible change that tic but it would take awhile and might not be mastered.

After 6th grade had finished, my tics were getting better and I could now go half time at school. 7th grade was the most dramatic grade ever. Everyone knew me and my condition. Some were accepting. Some were not. I was bullied a lot. Mostly in 5th period. Mostly by the same kid I had known since elementary school, we never liked each other. But for some reason I loved but HATED going to that class. I was a good student there and I sat by my best friend. She helped me a lot that year. Thank you Allie. Anyways I liked what I learned in the class and I was one of the best. But these kids would never leave me alone. One time they made me cry right in front of everyone and stop the class just to yell at them. Allie helped with that. They always were talking behind my back when my friends heard. I swear almost everyday someone told me that some kids were talking bad about me. But the good thing was that my friends said something about it. So thank you. Eventually we got everything taken care of after I almost punched a guy (the main guy) in the face because he made me so mad and I was done with his crap.

8th grade came around and I switched schools. The bullying continued. This time it was physical as well. These girls in my 6th period would always talk bad about me and this time I had no one to stand up for me. After school one day they pushed me down onto someone and that's when it ended. I went straight to the principle and got it straightend out. I was only at that school for 2 months. Then it was back to homeschooling.

Then my parents got divorced which only made my anxiety and tourettes worse.

9th grade came around and I went to my first high school. This school I liked and didn't get teased a lot. Then half way through the year I had to switch schools to move in with my dad. This school was the same school that all of those 7th grade people went to. I met up with one of my old friends who I am friends with today and she once told me that she regurally told people off for talking about me back in middle school. This helped me a lot because I didn't think she ever did that. But again anxiety started up and I felt like I was being judged everywhere I went so I went back to homeschooling.

I am now in 10th grade. I didn't try to go to school this year. I just went straight to online. Its still tough.

Tourettes can ruin your life; if you let it.

Yes I still have it and I will have it the rest of my life. Its tough because this on top of anxiety and depression is hard to handle.

A normal day for me is.. Getting up around noon and playing on my phone till like 1:30 then I go eat and maybe write or watch TV or just go in my phone. Tics going on the whole day. Sometimes to the extent where my neck hurts at night. (Like right now) then when my friends get out if school I text them and wait for my dad to get home and we eat dinner and this is around the time where I get sad. Then I go listen to music and or watch TV with him. Then eventually I go to bed. Its boring. A lot. But some days are so bad I stay iny bed all day because I'm hurting or just so sad.

But I'm trying to get better.

If you have any questions please feel free to ask me. I'm open to all questions. Thank you. Have an amazing day. I love you stay strong.