I'm Not Cold; Just Scared

^오^ Chapter 26 ^오^

How could she be so evil?

It seemed to have worked though. Jinyoung hadn't said anything and Daehwi could see him slightly shaking. It was obvious how much control she still had over him.

Meanwhile, Jinyoung had lost all his sense of navigation. It didn't feel like he was anywhere, all he felt was blackness around him. The only thing he could see was his phone, with all his mother's messages. This feeling of blackness had been surrounding him back when he had depression.

No...not this again...please... Jinyoung pleaded in his head. That gushing of negative thoughts hadn't come to him in forever. He could feel it coming and he didn't want to feel that pain again.

There is nothing to feel bad about this...I wanted to stay  He said aloud in his mind, wanting himself to believe it, but suddenly there was no self to believe. He wasn't just a self, he was two, because it felt like his mind had been divided into two opinions.

How could you fucking leave her? She always used to care for you so much what if you have an anxiety attack again huh? She sounded so sad  His other self replied. 

But she always forced me to stay away from the people who made me happy Jinyoung said, that side of him slowly weakening.

You are a goddamn monster, no one is going to care for you now. They're all just pretending to like you, now that you ran away from your mother, they're all going to leave you.

N-no...they won't leave me...they c-can't

And how would you know? His demonic self questioned. This was another thing Jinyoung was secretly terrified of, friends who pretended to be friends and then left him. That fear was starting to stir up in him.

Why did you stay? His other self asked

Why did I stay? Her repeated, as if he was possessed. Well, he technically was possessed by an emotion he didn't want to hold.

No one's going to want you 

No one's going to want me

You're always going to be alone

I'm always going to be alone

He was already deep in the spiral of negative thoughts so forecful he was forced to obey what they were saying. Once again, Jinyoung seemed to be locked in his mind.

Outside all this, Hyungseob was looking at Jinyoung worriedly. The boy was starting to shake and his breaths were becoming shorter. "Is he okay?" He whispered to Daehwi.

Daehwi shook his head; whatever Jinyoung was, he most certainly wasn't okay right now.

"I-I'll leave you guys alone" Hyungseob hissed, going out of the room. He just felt like Jinyoung needed Daehwi only right then. He didn't understand what had happened to Jinyoung and why it had happened, but it was frightening him.

Daehwi hesitated, he really didn't know what he was supposed to do until he realized that Jinyoung's eyes had gone blank and he was saying something barely audible.

"No one's going to want me, I'll always be alone"

In an instant, Daehwi knew what to do. He scooted closer to Jinyoung and took his hand.

Suddenly, in the mass of complete darkness, Jinyoung felt a warmth moving closer to him and that same warmth taking a hold of his hand. That complete blackness around him shifted to a dark shade of grey. Then, a foreign voice, one that was not his own, filled his mind.