I'm Not Cold; Just Scared

^ω^ Chapter twelve ^ω^

Nothing much to say here except for "Look Out For a Lot of Jinhwi in this Chapter"

On to le chapter 

Jinyoung went out from the classroom, going to that one washroom which was always empty for some reason. Oh well, Bae Jinyoung the cold-looking introvert liked empty places. 

He went inside a cubicle while sighing "Finally, peace and quiet" He heard the cubicle door next to him slam shut but he didn't care much. He was about to leave the cubicle when he heard a large shuddering sob coming from the cubicle next to him, making his hand freeze on the door. Jinyoung didn't recognize who it was, but felt bad for the person. That's when he heard that person wailing.

"Mom.... I don't know why but the mere mention of you scares me." 'Why did it sound like Lee Daehwi?' Jinyoung wondered, alarmed. He usually wouldn't eavesdrop, but this time, he kept his ear to the wall separating their cubicles.

"I don't want to get reminded of those days ever again.... I- was it really that bad? Am I traumatized so much because of the life I used to have?" Yes that was Daehwi's voice alright. Jinyoung's heart wrenched when he realized this.

Daehwi smiled in front of everyone, he acted bubbly and cute and seemed so happy. And underneath all that, he had been hurting. 'Those days'? Were those part of the the past that he never talked about? The fact that Daehwi was hiding his true emotions and smiling for everyone else saddened Jinyoung as he recalled something Daehwi had once told him.

"Hyung, I don't think you should be hiding your emotions and anxiety, let it all out, it's healthier for you."

'But at the same time Daehwi had been hiding his own emotions? Why did he hurt himself like this?' Jinyoung wondered as he heard Daehwi speak aloud to someone who couldn't hear him.

"But mom, because of you, I don't have a life like that anymore. You...d-don't know but I used to be an outcast... I'm not anymore, I have friends... I don't meet dad, my life is great, so why am I crying?"

He was talking to his mother? Because of you? Had she done something to save him? And what about Daehwi's father? Jinyoung's mind was filled with questions as he bit his lip and listened to  the younger boy's sobbing.

"Why am I having a mental breakdown over something that happened four years ago? Was it worth escaping all that pain if I keep getting reminded of it? Am I destined to be with my father?" 

Daehwi-ya...it's normal to be traumatized because of something that happened a long time ago, Jinyoung thought, feeling genuine concern for Daehwi.

"Of course, dad wouldn't want me... he told me that day, I still have the scar on my back to remind me. They all care about me, but here I am, thinking about the past..." 

Daehwi was taking deep breaths, he wasn't calming down anytime soon by the way he was crying, but Jinyoung felt fear in one thing Daehwi had said. 'scar on his back? Is he hurt?'

To him, Daehwi was a precious human who cared about others too much and didn't want to be a burden. But then again, sometimes those who smile the most are almost always the once who cry the most, secluded and alone.

"Why am I reminded of my past? JUST FUCKING KILL ME OR TAKE ME BACK TO THIRTEEN IF YOU KEEP REMINDING ME!" 

That's it. Daehwi had lost control. Jinyoung had never heard the younger male swear or even scream. He could hear the boy taking deep breaths and gulping.