Strawberries & Cigarettes (Guilt & Pleasure)

Chapter 7

I can still barely see a thing as I open the cabinet where I stock my favorite instant coffee. I woke up late today and me harassing myself to finish a whole book just so I could divert my thoughts from Tzuyu and her kiss explains why I ended up sleeping at almost four in the morning.  It didn’t work, though. I hardly understood anything from the book, and when I woke up I felt so excited to see her and as embarrassing as this may sound, I was hoping she’d give me a morning kiss. All those desires faded, though, as soon as I walked past Chaeyoung’s room, the strawberry sticker on her door reminding me of her and injecting a dose of guilt in my veins. I managed to get to kitchen without purposely hitting my head on the wall for my stupidity, and here I am now, making myself a cup of coffee.

“Perhaps you could make one for me, too?”

I raise my gaze from my ever favorite white cup with tiny and simple hearts decorations to Tzuyu. She’s walking up to me, her charming morning face makes it impossible for me to stay calm as always. And I’m waiting for the day it doesn’t.

“You have those hands for a reason, Tzuyu.”

She doesn’t respond right away, and I act like it doesn’t bother me. Even though I want to have these silly talks with her, I know it will only make everything even harder for me. The right thing to do is to let her go, to set these feelings free so it can also grant me my freedom from Tzuyu’s enticement.

“You’re right,” she says, then she startles me when she pulls me to face her, and startles me even more when she holds my face with both her palms. “I have them for a reason.” She’s looking right at me, and I gather my courage to give her back the same intensity. She doesn’t give me a chance to talk and just closes the gap between us. My eyes flutter close, and I have to hold tight onto the counter just to keep my balance.

Just when I’m about to pull back, she seizes my thighs so firmly a whimper slips between my lips. The next thing I know I’m already sitting on the counter.

“It’s still too early for this,” I manage as she continues to devour my lips.

She must’ve taken it as a hint. My lips are throbbing when she brings the space back between us. I swallow. I stare at her, the look on her face makes my heart sink slowly.

“I’m so-“ she attempts, but I cut her off.

“God, come here. “

This time I’m the one who pulls her in and she doesn’t reject me. Her hands remain on both sides of my waist as I grab her by the back of her neck. We’re like two wasted people who met in some club and thought that hooking up would make everything right in our messed up lives. Maybe that’s us in another universe, but in this one, we’re just two women who find it hard to control our sex drive resulting to us both cheating on my sister.

She moves her kisses to my cheeks, then my jawline, the she kisses my ear, her breath hitting my sensitive skin. Her hands roam all over my back, and she soon slips them beneath my shirt, making me shiver. I let out a shaky pant, and she just chuckles at strong her effect on me is.

“Good morning, bunbun,” she says, the nickname making me blush. She gives me a pat on the head, then she leaves me there, breathless as always and longing for more.

As usual, I spend the next hours in my room. Chaeyoung is coming home today and I’m determined to keep my promise to myself: that I’d treat her outside today for her hardwork. But then I realize, wouldn’t it be better if I prepare the food myself? If there’s something I know about my sister, it’s that she appreciates something more when she knows effort has been put into it. So I browse and look up “how to cook spicy rice cakes”, read some blogs, watch some tutorials, then I get myself ready and go out to buy the ingredients I’m going to need. And this time, I makes sure my wallet is with me.