With Or Without You

(1)

"I'm sure there are plenty of jobs in theater that I can find here in the states. There may even be more opportunities here. Who knows? I won't know until I look..."

"B-ben, this isn't going to work. Why-Why for onc-once in your life can't you just be realistic? Our relationship will n-never survive 3 years apart. W-what do you not understand about t-this?"

Ben was becoming angry. He had been completely blindsided by what came out of Spencer's mouth. He set Spencer on the couch next to him and stood up. He began to slowly pace the living room, his hands a tangled mess in his already messy hair.

"You act like I'll never get a chance to come and visit you. And you'll never have breaks from school to come to London. Why don't you be realistic, Spence?" His anger level had risen now. "Fuuuuuck. This is ridiculous. I don't want this, Spence... You can't actually think I believe that you want this..."

"I'm sorry, Ben, I can't do this anymore. I've made up my mind... I think it's best if you leave now before we say things we're going to regret... If I find anything of yours, I'll get it to Adam." She stood up and walked to the door.

Spencer opened the door and watched as Ben got up off the couch and walked over to the doorway, tears streaming down his face. He placed a hand on each of Spencer's cheeks and forced her head up to look at him. She closed her eyes, not able to look at him. She grabbed his wrists and laid her head on his chest. He kissed the top of her head.

"Spence, please... Can we at least talk about this? This isn't what I want. I want you. And, I know this isn't what you want... Please, Spence..."

She had nothing left to say. She removed his hands from her face and looked down at the ground, tears dripping onto the floor. He didn't know what else to say to make her change her mind, so he just walked out. As she shut the door behind him, she slammed her back against the door and slid to the ground. She sat there, huddled against the door for 2 hours, sobbing uncontrollably, until her roommate came home.

When she heard keys jingling in the lock, she stood up. Her roommate Nora was home and she had to get up so Nora could get inside. Nora saw her crying and immediately went into protective friend mode.

"Spencer, what the fuck happened? Are you okay?!" Nora immediately grabbed Spencer and pulled her into a hug.

"Ben. He was here. I... I broke up with him..." She began to sob all over again into Nora's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, you did WHAT?" Nora looked at her, dumbfounded.

"I broke up with Ben. It's for the best. I'll be okay. I promise..." Except Nora knew her promise wasn't sincere.

"I fucking heard you, Spence. Why in the fuck did you do that? You love him and he loves you! Spencer are you in your right fucking mind right now? I'm calling your mom. Where is your phone?" She looked at Spencer harshly, waiting impatiently for her reply.

"It's on the table... Please don't call her..." Spencer had almost no energy left to fight with Nora.

Nora walked over to the table and picked up Spencer's phone. She frantically typed in the passcode and called Naomi. Naomi picked up on the second ring.

"Hi, honey. Did you get settled in okay? How's Nora?"

"Mrs. Cooper, it's Nora. I'm going to give the phone to Spencer. She really needs to talk to you. Please have patience..." Nora handed the phone to Spencer. "Take the phone and speak, Spence..." Spencer took the phone from Nora and held it up to her ear.

"Mom, mom..." Spencer began to sob.

"Spencer, whats wrong? Honey talk to me."

"Mom, I don't know what to do. I just broke up with Ben..."