With Or Without You

(1)

"Hi! I missed you, so much." Ben grabbed her hand and pulled her in for a hug.

"Hi yourself." She asked him as she accepted his hug.

She rested her head on his chest and breathed in his scent.

He leaned down and gently grasped her face in his hands. He kissed her on the lips. He walked her backwards into the apartment, keeping his lips firmly pressed against hers. He kicked the door shut behind him. He deepened the kiss, placing a hand in her hair and pulled her in close with his other hand, wrapping it around her waist. She kissed him back, feeling guilty for stringing him on. She felt so guilty about the next words that would come out of her mouth. she wasn't even sure if she was ready for them... She pulled away from the kiss, catching Ben by surprise. He gave her a confused look and dropped both of his hands to her waist, not knowing why she pulled away. She looked up into his eyes.

"Benny, we need to talk..." She took each of his hands in hers as she looked down at the floor.

"Is everything okay?" He looked down at her and placed a finger under her chin, tilting her face up towards him. "Spence, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Ben looked at her with a concerned look in his eyes. "Let's go sit, alright?" He picked her up wrapping her legs around his waist.

She laid her head on his shoulder as she felt the tears start falling from her eyes. He walked the two of them over to the couch. As he sat down, with Spencer on his lap, she continued to speak, unable to make eye contact.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to cry. But, I've been thinking a lot about this. I've had the last month and a half to think about it...."

He cut her off abruptly. "Spencer, look at me..." He tilted her head up to him but she couldn't open her eyes. "What's wrong? What happened?" His eyes welled up and he looked at her with one of the most concerned looks she'd ever seen from him as she opened her eyes to finally look at him.

As the tears streamed down her face she continued, "... and, I think I've finally worked it out. You're moving to London after graduation. I'm moving back to Michigan to go to law school. You'll be busy trying to get auditions and I'll be stuck at home studying my brains out. I think it's best if we break up." She, once again, looked down, closing her eyes to avoid having to look at him. "We're going separate ways and I think it's for the best. It's just easier to do this now then right before we leave each other. We have time to move on... Or else, we're going to spend 3 years apart while I finish school. I just think it's for the best. It breaks my heart, but who are we fooling? This is never going to work..." She hung her head in her hands and began to sob.

"Spencer. This is crazy. Why is breaking up your only solution to our distance? If it's so important to you, I'll stay here. I'll look for work in the states. I'll do whatever you want, go wherever you want. But, please... don't break up with me. I'm begging you." Ben couldn't hold back his tears any longer. "I love you Spencer. Please, don't do this... Please, Spence."

"I-I love you, too, Ben, but... but be realistic. What other choice do we have? You'll never find work you truly want here. You'll-you'll miss your dreams of living in London. You h-hate America. Just admit it. You'd never t-truly be happy here." She wiped her tears that had dripped down her face, finding it difficult to talk now.

"I would find a way to be happy, to be happy for you. You're all I need to be happy. Everything else is just a perk of life. Please don't do this... Please." Ben wiped the tears that fell from Spencer's eyes.

"Ben, you can't just live here. You have an extraordinary job opportunity after graduation that I won't let you turn down. I'm not going to be the reason that held you back from your dreams... It's not fair to you."