Chapters that were read: I and II
Grammar: Yeah...I recommend working on that a little but it's honestly nothing to be too concerned about. I think a quick proofread should easily fix the majority of them. I also recommend that you use paragraphs more often and format your dialogue(You can kill two birds with one stone by formatting your paragraph. 18/25
Fluidity: Excellent!! I love the feel of the story. Characters are fine...dialogue is superb...great diction. :D I wanted to keep reading but for now, I only review the first two chapters(three if the story has a prologue). 25/25
Overall: I have to say I enjoyed it. It gives a sense of horror, action, and suspense which is great in terms of drawing more viewers. I feel like it's a little bit too fast paced...As in you could slow down by adding more descriptiveness to capture a particular moment. I.e, the part where Adalia is almost sedated. But then again, if you want a fast paced story, that's also fine. Honestly, whatever you decide, won't hurt the high potential of this story. :D 45/50
Cons: SEE GRAMMAR
TOTAL RATING: 88/100
Percentage: 88.00%
Average of all books: 83.00%
