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Hallow

It hung in the air like a foul stench and she was sure everyone knew of it. Still, Steven smiled and waived and laughed like he always did, like nothing had changed. Everything changed, did he not see it?

"Do you want to talk about it?"

His voice drifted in her head, sickeningly sweet with concern.

"No." What was she supposed to talk about? How terrible it all felt? How mo matter what she tried to do to make it stop that little hole grew inside her and continued to suck down everything with it?

"You'll feel better if you do."

And what would that do? It's not like it would magically dissolve into nothing if she tried. If anything she'd just cry, maybe poof. Maybe worse.

"Spinel."

The gem's eyes drifted from their unfocused toiling toward Steven, who sat across from her on his bed, trying to get her to do something, say something. This type of silence was worse than her other, a voluntary refusal to speak when he knew that she desperately needed it. As much as he hated hearing about his mother's actions, he cared more about his friends wellbeing.

"What?" A vacant answer, it seemed to be the only thing she was capable of for the weeks following her grand epiphany. Aside from very poorly placed jokes.
Steven shifted himself to sit cross legged in front of her, hoping his full attention would garner some kind of imitating reaction.

"You listened to me all the time, every time I complained about the diamonds, I want to do the same for you." He stated, she turned her head, only half paying attention to him while she twisted her fingers into an ungodly knot.

"So please let me help you?" He watched her in her quiet refusal, as she slowly untangled her fingers.

"Why do you like me?" Not as expected, and he almost hesitated just long enough for her to question if he liked her at all.

"Because you're kind, and fun and a good friend." There were more, but he chose not to mention them.

"What if you get bored of me too?"

"I wouldn't." He was quick to answer but she didn't look particularly convinced.

"You don't know that. Pink- she got bored of me." Spinel pulled her knees to her chest and coiled her arms tightly around herself, glancing back at him almost expecting agreement.

"I don't think I'll get bored of you. I like you, and I like being around you." She was far harder to convince now than ever it seemed. Steven hated it, and hated seeing how she seemed to drift about like a little pink ghost.

"You say that." Soft lies, that's all they were and she knew it. Steven nor anyone else would convince her otherwise. Soft lies and promises that were bound to be broken. She couldn't do it again. She couldn't be left alone, forgotten, or ignored. Not again.

"I'm sorry." She breathed, causing Steven to edge a little closer. Sorry? For what?

"You don't have to be sorry, why are you sorry?" His hand grazed hers lightly, and she pulled away, despite relishing the touch.

"I'm sorry.." how was she supposed to articulate it? That burdensome feeling of not ever being enough, of being entirely different than what you're supposed to be? She couldn't.  So instead she clenched her eyes shut and grit her teeth through the tears, hoping that she could pretend long enough to make it go away. It would go away eventually right?

Her collapse wasn't as surprising as the first couple of times. Steven's eyes softened at her forcefully repressed whimpers and he wrapped his arms around the gem, pulling her close until her shudders were absorbed by his embrace.

"Hey, shh. It's okay." He cooed to her, running his hand through her hair in long and gentle pets, it seemed to help. And for once she didn't push him away.

"It's gonna be okay."

It had to be. He desperately wanted it to be. He had to fix Pink's mistake one last time.