Thank You For The Venom (Frerard)

2 - Pretty Handsome Awkward

"So" Bert pulled him from his thoughts "are you happy to see me or what?"

"Of course" he smiled, squeezing his arm "how was last night?"

"Mediocre, but that's okay. It was warm up for tonight anyway" he turned back to where Mikey Ray and Bob were trailing behind them "are you boys parting tonight too? We're having a massive one."

"I'll come for a bit" Ray nodded "got some songs I really need to work on though."

"The songs can wait" Bert rolled his eyes "it's not like you'd be able to finish them without a singer anyway, and he's gonna be preoccupied."

"We'll be there" Bob cut them both off, probably sensing the tension that was building. Ray liked to have a few drinks and unwind after shows, but that's where it stopped for him. When the drugs came out and things started to get messy he tended to grab his guitar and head for his bunk, often taking Mikey with him when Gerard was too fucked to successfully watch out for his younger brother. 

"Great!" Bert turned his attention back to his sort-of boyfriend and lowered his voice "I've got some great new shit that you're gonna love babe."

"Yeah?" Gerard couldn't help but perk up at that.

"Yeah, wait a sec" Bert fished about in his jacket before dropping something into his pocket. Gerard didn't have to ask what it was. "There's something for before the show. I know you need it, especially for the first one of tour."

"Thanks" Gerard felt his nerves lessen. He knew it was an awful habit to have fallen into, but the idea of going up on stage without a kick or just a little bump of something made him sweat. He'd just be so exposed, so him, and he worried that fans would feel let down when they realised he wasn't the rock and roll star they expected, but a shy guy that liked dramatic makeup looks. He wasn't like Frank, who had all the energy he ever needed without any help - just pure unpredictable excitement. 

"There's plenty more where that came from too" Bert spoke about drugs like a normal person would talk about the weather - completely oblivious to who was around or listening. Gerard admired that about him though: he just didn't give one solitary fuck what anyone else thought. 

By this point they were at the coffee station and Gerard was pouring himself a cup, caffeine just another one of the many addictions he seemed to harbour. It only ever used to be coffee, but then he had discovered alcohol and the way it made him feel so free and alive. And well, if you think that's a good hit just wait till you try cocaine. 

"You gunna come watch our show tonight?" Gerard asked him without making eye contact. 

"Sure" Bert hummed, not too focused "I mean, gotta get the party started but I will definitely catch some of it. Wouldn't wanna miss hearing that beautiful voice now would I?" 

"Thanks" Gerard knew that was about as accurate an answer that he would get out of him. 

"Bert, we need you at soundcheck" one of the crew called, and Bert gave him a wink before sauntering away. 

"Hey Gee?" he turned to face his younger brother, who had moved nearer to him the instant Bert had gone. 

"Sup Mikes?"

"Be careful tonight, yeah? I know first nights always wild but -"

"It's all good" Gerard spoke before he could finish "I've got it all under control." Mikey didn't comment, or meet his eye for that matter. Gerard knew better than to try and press for any more than his quiet acceptance on the matter. The end of last tour had got a bit messy, and Mikey had been the one that often had to help him climb into his bunk when he couldn't see straight, so he knew it was a reasonable request for him to make.