Where Have You Bean? | Yong Hoon x Reader

3 | Connection

"You only 'suppose'?"

YH: "Well, neither of us ever said it. She left before we ever got there, but I know that I at least cared for her a lot. And I think she cared for me too."

"But you don't know if it was love?"

YH: "Who knows what love is anyway?" he mused. "It's a four-lettered word with a definition that has stayed the same across ages but has also changed with every generation. And at the same time, it's infinitely different for every person. Her definition of love and mine could've been totally different."

"Do you think things would've turned out differently if one of you had said it aloud?"

YH: "Said what? 'I love you'?"

You nodded.

YH: "Maybe. Maybe not? I think actions speak louder than words. Just because something isn't talked about, doesn't mean it doesn't exist."

"Well then, if someone truly loved another, and they had an argument, why do you think that person would ignore the other?"

YH: "An argument, you say? Well if he truly loved her, he would eventually come back to her. I think maybe he needs a break. Everyone needs time to think, right? So maybe he's taking some time off to clear his mind and reflect on things."

"Like what kind of things?"

It was strange that you needed the mind of a stranger in order to help you learn about someone who you'd known for years.

YH: "About what they argued about... About her, about their relationship? Whether the relationship is worth fighting for.. I don't know, there's a lot to it."

Tears welled up in your eyes again and you couldn't control them. You couldn't do anything but bury your face in your hands.

Upon noticing this, he immediately shifted towards you in a fluster.

YH: "I'm sorry! Did I say something wrong?"

"No, it's not your fault," you muttered as you wiped your tears away.

YH: "Please don't cry..."

He shed his coat and swung it over your shoulders.

YH: "I'm sorry..."

"Don't apologize. You're actually helping me a lot."

YH: "That's a bit hard to believe if you're still crying."

"I'm sorry."

YH: "Wait, why are YOU sorry?"

"For being like this. I don't mean to show you this pathetic side of me."

YH: "You're not pathetic. Everyone has their own problems, and I'm sure you're going through a reasonably tough time right now. It's gonna be okay in the end."

He patted your back and gave you a smile.

YH: "And it's okay to cry too. You can cry until you feel better."

This feeling was new. While it felt fine to cry in the presence of your boyfriend, he usually didn't know what to do. He would stay by your side, bring you tissue, but apart from that, he wasn't sure how to help. It made things awkward, and you felt that you would need to stop in order to relax him or not be a burden to him. But this boy sitting beside you invited you to cry until you were content.

"Thanks."

YH: "Anytime. And I mean that. Here, give me your phone."

He was trustworthy, so you handed it to him. He pressed some buttons and then his phone began vibrating. When he was done, he offered your phone back to you.

YH: "That's my number. If you ever need to talk to someone or even if you need to know how to make a good cup of coffee, feel free to text me or give me a call, okay?"

After staying with the waiter for a little longer, you left before it got too late. The conversation flowed fairly well since he seemed to have a lot of advice and experiences to share. He introduced himself by the end of the night as well.

YH: "You can call me 'K.' 'K' for 'koffee.' Because spelling coffee with a 'C' is overrated, haha."

You looked down on your screen only to notice that he saved his contact as K. He was a good guy. Chatty, cheery, and considerate. So many "C" words to describe him, yet he chose "K."

You raised an eyebrow at him upon hearing his introduction.

YH: "Just kiddin', Yong Hoon it is. What about you?"

"Y/n"

He hadn't ever stood out to you in the past; dressed all in white for work with an apron that fell past his knees, and manners that made him seem to fade into the background more than his colleagues. While the other waiters and waitresses wore the uniform attire, you recalled with your countless visits that they often joked around behind the counter as they did their chores, shoving each other playfully when they could.

Your waiter, however, tended to keep more to his duty and in his free time, he would make the rounds through the shop to ensure that all his "guests," as he called them, were satisfied. He had a habit of standing with his hands clasped in front of him or behind him when he stood idly or was about to take a customer's order. Overall, he had the air of an innocent child, kindness in it's purest form, so far apart from the fact that he needed time alone to recharge just like any other adult.

By the time you bid him goodbye at the door of the shop, your mood had lightened and you had forgotten about the more upsetting events of the day.

However, despite being kept busy with your bedtime routine, the loneliness of the apartment that you had feared began to slowly expose itself from the corners of the room as you lied in bed and tried to sleep. It's not a type of feeling that you can escape from so easily. Once it has a grip on you, it stays, suffocating you like a weight on your chest, and no matter which way you turn, it doesn't leave you.

Your boyfriend wasn't here to keep your mind from wandering into scary nightmares and fears. The thought that he may never truly see you the way you wanted him to see you was frightening. He was your support, your anchor, the one you came home to. But what if he had gotten sick of you? Then who would you turn to?

What usually accompanies loneliness is self-loathing, hate for yourself and all the dumb decisions you've made in the past bury you under its mass until you can't find a way out. You hated yourself for driving him away like this. Maybe it was you who had the problem and were to blind to see it.

While you were caught in this raging storm of nightmares, you felt your phone vibrate beside you. It was a text message from K.

YH: "I hope you made it back home safely. Good night!"

And another text added as an afterthought...

YH: "And please don't cry. A smile suits you more :)"

Though you couldn't exactly call him a friend yet, you heard his voice so much today that his as you read the text, you could hear his comforting words said in his soft voice. Suddenly, the monsters in your head didn't seem as difficult to fight off anymore.

.☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。