Whore.

Chapter 23: Tungsten

"Michael?" Malone sounded like he was on the stairs.
"I'm in the kitchen."
"I got you a toothbrush."
"Thanks."
"Come back upstairs. Take a shower with me."

I smiled. There was no way it could be just a shower. I put the half-empty bottle of juice back in the fridge and went to join him.

I was in a cab headed for Dorian's apartment. I felt really good, both mentally and physically. Mentally, it was because the situation with Malone was cleared up, and he asked me to move in with him. Physically, it was because we had great sex in the bathroom. He had to support me because my legs kept giving-out and I couldn't hold myself up. That's how good it was. I had to explain to him that my job today had nothing to do with any actual sex. It was a desk job. That was the only way he agreed to let me go to 'work'. I took out my phone to play with it and noticed that it was still off. I turned it on. Within minutes of loading, I had two voice messages. No doubt they were from Swash.

"Michael, pick up the phone. I know you heard it the first time. You can't just run off like that. What if something-" I cut the message and deleted it. Next message.

"I love you." It was Malone's voice. I smiled and called him back. He picked up after two rings.
"I love you too." I cut the call before he had the chance to say anything. I laughed to myself. It was like a childish game of tit-for-tat or tag. My phone rang. Malone. I picked up.
"I love you more." he hung up immediately. I laughed out loud and the cab driver turned to face me. I smiled at him. He turned back and faced the road. Maybe I'd continue the game after I got to Dorian's apartment.

I spent meaningless hours at the station. Only two requests came in, for two of our newer guys. One of them was like a mini-Robert, all cool and calm and straight-to-the-point. A little skinnier and different looks, but everything about their mannerisms were identical. The other, I was told, was like a mini-me. I didn't see the resemblance, but everyone had said that we were really alike, so I shrugged and accepted it. We barely knew each other. I called him after his request came in.

"Hello, Feist?"
"Yeah? What's up?"
"You've got one C. James for you. North Halsted, Lakeview."
"Thanks. Send me the address. Wait, you're Meat, right?"
"Yeah?"
"Wow, you're officially like my role model."
"Why?"
"Twenty three grand! You need to give me lessons. I'm working for scraps here."
"I'm sure you'll do just fine the way you are. I'm retiring soon anyway."
"Finally hit the jackpot huh?"
"Yeah, sure. Whatever. I'll send you the address."

I hung up. It was a little surprising how far that story had spread. But what was even more surprising was that I had told Felix, whore name 'Feist', about my plans to retire even before I had told Emmet or most importantly Dorian. I shook my head at myself. Maybe I had already decided on it and Malone was just the final push I needed. I still remembered how I felt after the Michael Clive incident. I knew then that I needed to get out. For some undeserved reason, the universe smiled at me and a door opened. All I had to do was seize the opportunity and catch my break.

After a few more hours of doing nothing, including taking a short nap, I decided I needed to talk to someone.

"Oh my God! Michael!"
"How's New York?"
"The wedding was amazing. Bates spared no expense Dorian was looking super hot, as always. They're already off to their honeymoon in Fiji. What happened to you? Everyone was trying to call you."
"I left my phone charger at home and never left Swash's apartment. I didn't even know all this stuff was going on. But I should have tried to call. Sorry."
"Dorian isn't even mad, don't worry about that. You and Swash must've really been busy. Maybe we'll get to see you tomorrow when we get in."
"Okay. Anyway, I'm thinking about quitting soon."
Emmet went silent for a moment.
"You're really serious about this Swash guy?"
"Sure." If I said 'No, I'm actually going out with Malone', that would raise the question on how I could ditch a guy who was willing to spend so much on me for a guy who, well, wasn't. Plus I'd have to explain how I developed a serious relationship with a guy I met barely over a week ago when I had spent most of that time with another guy. I had already built one lie. I had to maintain it.
"Best of luck to both of you."
"I guess I'll have to tell Dorian after the honeymoon. I can't bother him right now with stuff like this."
"I'm sure he'll be okay with it. Everyone has to move on at some point. I'm nearly retired myself. Just trying to land on my feet. Alex is just the greatest right now so I think I understand how you feel."
"Thanks for understanding."
"Just...don't rush into anything, okay?"
"Okay Mum."
Emmet laughed and hung up. I felt like a weight was being lifted off my shoulders. Malone was okay with me. Emmet was okay with me. Dorian was sure to be okay with me. Life, somehow, was working out. I sighed out loud. The last week had really been a roller-coaster of emotions, but I felt it was nearing the end. Michael Hutch was finally moving on with his life. I couldn't help but smile.

It was midnight when I left Dorian's. I caught a cab to my apartment and called Malone.

"Hey Mal."
"Mike, what's up? Done with work?"
"Yeah. Listen, I know this is a weird thing to say but um..."
"Yes?"
"I need to finish my stay at S-...Jeremy's place."
"Why?"
"Oh, you know, just so no one at work gets suspicious. I'm supposed to be screwing the guy, you know."
"But you aren't."
"No, I'm not."

Malone was silent for a few seconds. I felt my heart rate quicken. Please don't get mad. Please don't get mad.

"Call me, every day."
"Okay...why?" I tried not to sound too relieved.
"So he knows you're taken." He snickered a little.
"He knows I'm taken. I told him I had a boyfriend already."
"Really?"
"Yeah. You think I want to mess up what we have?"
"I don't know, do you?"
"Don't be like that Mal. You know I love you."
"Prove it."
"How?"
"Call me every day."
I laughed. "Fine, fine. You win."
"I know. You called me 'Mal'. Pet names are a sign that I win. Mal-1, Jeremy-0."

I laughed and hung up, smiling at the phone. Malone was just the best; I wondered how I didn't see that until now. I held the cab at my place as I had only stopped to get my phone charger. I didn't want to miss any calls this week. I ordered the driver to go to Swash's condo. There was a strangely nostalgic feeling as I got out of the cab. Almost like I was coming home. Maybe I'd just been in the place for too long. I paid my fare, typed in the unlock code and entered. Even the elevator ride felt familiar and cozy. I got off on the seventh floor and unlocked the door. It opened into a dark, cold living room. Everyone must have been asleep; it was really late and a weeknight. I decided to just let myself into the guest room and deal with explaining myself in the morning. It was really dark, and I didn't want to stumble over anything and make a sound. I switched on the lights and shut my eyes at their intensity. They were so bright; I had to blink back tears. I wiped my eyes and tried to regain focus on my surroundings.

Swash was sitting at the dining table. His moss green eyes were narrowed and so dark, they looked black. And they stared at me with incendiary anger.

Fuck.