This is Me

I am not a new comer when it comes to pain. The darkness of the world is the place I've been captivated in...

"Hide away" they said. Ashamed of me, they don't want to see my broken parts as I questioned myself every godda** day.

Am I who I meant to be?

My parents shunned me down, society wants me to be drowned underground.

Different. I'm too different from the rest of them. Abnormal. The same look that they given had scarred me from day one. I remember.

"Run away", they said, "No one'll love you as you are"

Once upon a time I believed in those words and tear myself apart to tiny pieces. It hurts. Surviving is hurt...

Freak.

It took me years, but lately their insults meant nothing but numbness. I don't care what they said about me. Not again. I won't let them break me down to dust. Because I believed that one day, I'll find my place in this world. But until then, I need to hold on. Hold on to myself since there's no one else willing-- it's okay. I've been surviving all this time, giving tomorrow a chance shouldn't be that bad.

--I keep telling myself that everyday.

Oh how their sharp words wished to just cut me like how these razors do. But no no. I'm a brave warrior. My bruises are glorious. I'll find myself a home one day. Because I want to believe that...

I am who I'm meant to be.

Growing up is the hardest part of surviving. "Money can't buy you happiness" I remember a rich couple shouting that sh** through their break ups. Well guess what? That's just how the world goes. Money is the key to your happiness. You have no idea how many times I've been thinking of selling my organs. And yet I'm not the only one...

Another night to spend, another bullet hit my skin. Another day to survive as that one forgotten question decided to just crashing in...

Am I really who I meant to be?

Admittedly it almost gets me. But then I decided, no, Not today. Today I'm going to puff my chest, chin high in the sky-- I won't let the shame sink in.

Bursting through the barricades, I'll make sure to grab the light. Grabbing my successful life for myself, because no one will make my future bright. No, No one else but me.

So, I let them have their best chance to shot on me, I'll wear my pride as a bulletproof vest. No more cuts. I'll hold on fir real this time, until the day I can win this life...

I can do this...

"Embrace it, Don't end it" a man in fedora once told me-- the very first person who genuinely accepted me.

I freaked out.

It's Just... too foreign. I backed away, afraid that it's a trap of sort. Yet he brought more people into my life...

People that, rather than just friends, I can call them my family.

"Don't Sorry, Tsuna, you can tell us anything..." one of them assured me as my fiance hold me from behind. Ah, yes, the hot and gorgeous fedora man, my first crush, the first person who understand me, is now my lover-- anyhow...

"I..." Trembling, I'm scared to lose them. But with a light squeeze on my shoulder, I took a deep breath as I finally told them.

"..... I'm pregnant"

Silence... I counted down in my head, I figured that they'll start fussi--

"WHAT?!?!?" --Yup, there it goes.

"Tsuna. You're a male. Don't be ridiculous. We're not a part of some some twisted fan fiction or anything" One of them said as all I did was chuckling nervously.

"Yeah... well... about that. I'm not exactly a male...?"

"Wut...?" Their dumbfounded faces are priceless. I'll definitely laugh it off if I'm not such a nerve wreck right now.

"I'm a hermaphrodite. So... I am male by appereance but has female features inside. Does that makes any sense?" I fidgetted.

"A lot, actually" some of them chuckling.

"Thought you just have a tiny d*** or something"

"MUKURO!!!" I was blushing hard, but nevetherless glad that I finally told them.

A few decided to leave me, but it's okay. Most of them stays and they even congratulating me. I was touched, so much that I cried.

"Thank you..." My cheeks hurting from the smiles I have for the rest of the day.

"See, amore? There's no need to hide yourself anymore. Never again. You're home." my beloved kissed my tears away as I giggled.

So yeah, this is my story. Just another story of a small boy surviving this harsh world by a naive believe that he'll make it for another day... always like that until he finally found his place.

Today, in this very second, I can proudly say that I am who I'm meant to be...

This is me.