𝑴𝒀 𝑩𝑶𝒀 , reddie

4

it was dinner now, wentworth was at the table with grandma rose, richie is lying on the dining room floor, sprawled out like a dead body.

"excuse me, wentworth, i finished up mr. nells hair, he looked kind of.." maggie stops upon fully laying her eyes on the scene in front of her. to her, richie looks like he's very ill. "wentworth, what's wrong with him."

"oh, he's just pretending. richie, get up here and eat your broccoli." went says sternly.

maggie crouches down beside richie, and richie turns his head weakly towards her.

"i think its my prostate.." then he rolls his head back over, pretending to be deceased now.

this is exactly how things went at the toziers funeral parlour. they were certainly an odd family, maggie had stumbled into a very weird position. putting makeup on dead bodies? putting up with richies confusion? and to top it off grandmoo started to sing 'i got rythm' like she always does at dinner.

perhaps she was the only sane person in this house at the moment. maybe the only one that was 'truly' alive.

richie slid into his seat and picked at the remaining food on his plate, he had already eaten quite a bit before falling dramatically to the floor as if he was shot or struck by some invisible force.

wentworth sent him to bed as quick as possible.

the next morning richie and eddie sit on the wooden steps in front of the house, playing checkers. eddie had his inhaler by his side. he never goes anywhere without it.

"it's practically your baby." richie tells him, pretty much every single day.

"its my life support, you dingus." eddie would say back.

maggie comes out to sit with them, she still dressed odd, wearing some flowy magenta top and an orange-ish vest.

"so who's winning." she sits on the step in front of them, the top step of the porch.

richie doesn't look away from the board, looking at it with odd concentration. the people who really knew him knew he wasn't actually thinking about how to make his next move, he was thinking about how to steal another one of eddies white pieces without him noticing.

"i am." he said, without a second thought.

he was not winning, clearly.

some boys a grade older walked by the house now, laughing like hyenas upon noticing richie and eddie playing on the front steps.

"look!" the biggest one, henry, starts. "its richie tozier and his little boyfriend!"

henry is tall and lanky, but his hair is greasy and his clothes are a little dirty, everyone knows his dad hates him.

"he is not my boyfriend!" richie yells back. richie wasn't scared of henry 'honeybunch' bowers, or his goons.

they would always call richie gay at school, richie really wasn't gay. he hoped he wasn't gay. being gay is for lesbians and guys who still wear open button ups.

richie looked down at his own button up shirt, that was open, and cursed under his breath.

he thought if he was gay, he couldn't even date eddie anyways. eddies mom wasn't big on the idea of homos and you know,

"i bet he kissed him on the lips!"  henry's friend, belch huggins, chimed in.

belch huggins was a bigger fellow, called 'belch' because of the impeccable way he can burp on command. its not really all that hard.

eddie looked at richie fearfully, so richie spoke up again, being his normal witty self. what else would he do? eddie was his best friend, and not his boyfriend. so, he would protect him.

"you think i'd kiss that ugly old thing!" he retorts, snorting as he pushes up the bridge of his glasses nervously.

"yeah anyway." eddie agrees for a moment until he realises that was an insult to his part. he looks back to richie with almost a glare, richie responds with a signature gap toothed smile.

henry and his friends walked on past the house, singing taunting rhymes.

"richie and eddie, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!"

richie plays with the bottom of his open button up. he wasn't gay. it was just a shirt. and eddie was only his friend, he didn't want to kiss him, only moms and dads kiss.

"first comes love!"

eddie looked down at the playing board, and richie fiddling his hands nervously. eddie had picked up on all of richies nervous ticks, if he was right, richie would start tapping his foot.

"then comes marriage!"

and there goes richies foot, tapping away.

"then comes eddie in the baby carriage."

next would be another witty comeback, thats how richie kept himself safe. eddie had always knew that.

"that song is for little girls! you're all so stunned, you know, you scuzz buckets!" and there it was, the witty comeback.

eddie usually insulted them under his breath often, calling them all 'scuzz buckets' which he told richie meant they were 'useless' and 'idiots'. richie didn't exactly understand, but he picked the word up anyways. after the fact, eddie told richie not to say it in front of eddies momma.

"you know, you shouldn't let those boys upset you, richie." maggie spoke, leaning down and watching henry and his friends disappear down the street.

"i'm not upset." richie shrugged, suppressing his feelings. "I would never hang out with those raunchy freak weeds." he says proudly. "I only surround myself with people i find intellectually stimulating."

eddie looked up to maggie and rolled his eyes, but a small smile was growing on his face.

maggie smiles back and then pulls some chocolate out of her back pocket, offering it to eddie and richie.

richie shakes his head, so does eddie. "no thanks, mom says i can't."

maggie laughs. "you can't eat chocolate?"

"hes allergic." richie adds, looking at eddie with a goofy face.

"to chocolate?"

"oh yeah, eddie is like allergic to everything. bees, pollen, grass, chocolate. I think its his mom just making sure he doesn't get himself dirty, got to keep her perfect momma scuzz bucket reputation up right, you know?"

eddie glares at richie, and richie only smiles back.