I sat in the waiting room, my moms shaking, my dads not waking. My life is falling apart but before it falls apart it patched together like a story from a nightmare.
My hearts racing, my fears chasing as if the sky turned black, the sun never returned like darkness was my new, only friend.
The doctor walks out, his face unreadable my moms face despicable our lives turned around as I'm hitting the ground.
The tears well up as he said my dad will never watch me grow up. I get older, times get harder my future doesnt go farther. I'm stuck in this place, this place known as hell, maybe actual hell could show me the way. The way to not feel so alone. To feel as if I'm alive and not a ghost to those who mean the most to me.
Since my dads passing, I'm a ghost to my mom, no one to tend to the lawn. No father figure, no man in the house. It gets harder the older I grow.
I'm twenty three now, I met this guy who reminds me of my dad. The same smile the same laugh.
We talked for months before he made this move.. this I love you bullshit is too good to be true. This dream that I'm living will soon turn to ash and everything I know will soon have to crash for me to start. Try this happiness, take a chance, a small hope, you'll do fine, he'll be fine. We'll be fine.
But how is fine when I'm feeling alone and feeling so broke. The emptiness inside my stomach is growing and not a soul is showing me the way to my happiness. The way to be strong and not fearful of happiness.
After two years he left in a rush, this new chick, bigger tits, prettier face, bigger ass, this nut case. She batted her eyes one glance was all it took and she had him stuck on a hook. Her hook. Her spell. They told me this would end well for me and for him but I guess happiness is for those worthy and I'm not.. worthy.
