Edward {ManXMan} ✔

Twelve

I sat on my bed, knees pulled to my chest while my eyes scanned the book that rested in my hand. Alexander sat beside me, his fingers playing with the fabric on my sheets as his other hand held onto a book as well.

It had been a week since Edward had not come home. Every morning at dawn I had gone to the stables to ride the horses with the boys, but this morning Alexander had brought up my breakfast earlier than usual. And with the food, he brought a new book he had picked up at the market. So we sat and picked at berries as we read.

Sometimes he took my hand in his, his fingers dancing on mine as I got distracted. A flutter would twist in my stomach as he did it. But I ignored it. Or I tried.

It was wrong of me to enjoy it. I had just lost the love of my life. Yet here I was sitting with another in my chambers, holding hands with him.

Had I lost the love of my life? Or was he still out there? Was it silly for me to hold onto hope? Or would it just be easier to let go now, let me go and find comfort in another? 

I didn't move my hand. And I never did. Not any time that week that he had found his way into my chambers to read with me. And trust me, he was there every night.

I liked to think that he knew I needed him there. With him nearby I felt safe, the loneliness was not as hard to deal with when Alexander was nearby. He spoke often about how I needed to speak up for myself, how I needed to act like a prince more often, he had noticed how I treated everyone as a friend, and not as a worker. And it was true, I did because I respected them all. "You respect them. But do they respect you?"

"I find it fascinating how people can write such words in such a short time," Alexander said, shaking me from my thoughts, his legs crossed as he laid beside me on my bed, a fortnight after Edward had gone missing.

"Harlow enjoys writing. She can write a story in just a fortnight if she sets her mind to it." I was sitting up, book in my hand joints sore from the sparing I had done that morning with young Ronald. For a little man, he had a swing on him like I had not seen before. And I desperately hoped that he would become a knight one day, his skill was too much to pass up.

"My mother enjoyed telling stories. But she did not know how to read or write. She would tell us amazing stories before bed." He said as he sat up, I laid my book down as he faced me, interested in his excrement. "There was one story of a bear. She named him Tommy. And Tommy had to learn how to fit in with the humans so he could save his daughter from the hunters."

"And did he? Did he save his daughter?" I asked, mouth dry as I swallowed, watching as Alexander moved closer to me.

"Yes, he was able to trick everyone and kill the hunter who was planning on taking his daughter from him. They lived together in a cave happy as ever." He said with a laugh, but he didn't move from me. His eyes staying on my face. "She would tell us stories all the time. I always wished to be able to write so one day we could sit together, and she and I could write together." His voice got softer as he spoke. I watched him, as his hand found its way to my jaw, my brows met together as he touched me, it confused me. But then his lips touched mine and it became clear. And for a moment I panicked. These lips were not lips that should touch mine. Not when he was out there, and cold.

I could feel a tear fall to my cheek when he took a breath and drew back. He looked at me, I could feel his eyes as my eyes stayed closed. "I apologies my lord." He started. "I don't know what hap— "

I stopped him with my lips on his again, I took a deep breath into his mouth, moving closer to him, I felt horrible, but at the same time, I felt free in a way.

What if Edward was never coming home? What if Edward was no longer out there.

Would he want me to move on?