Chapter Ten: Breathing

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1:17 AM is what the clock read as I opened my eyes

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1:17 AM is what the clock read as I opened my eyes.
I knew that I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, especially in an old metal chair, slumped over a little hospital bed. There was, of course, the option to climb in bed with Kirishima, but I couldn't will myself to move that close to him. I hurt him once, who's to say that I might not a second time. I was living in a constant state of anxiety because of what I did to him.
I decided to take a walk around campus to clear my mind. Before I left his room, I placed a kiss on the smooth surface of his palm. It pained me to see his expressionless face as I closed the door. He was so full of life at a time, now look at him. Look at what happened to him. Look what I did to him.
I was still dressed in the same clothes as I had been for the last day or so and I knew I looked like a train wreck, but I didn't care. All I could think of was his face as he fell to the ground.
I just wanted him back.
***
I eventually found myself back at the dormitory where it appeared that everyone had gone to bed. I needed something to calm me down; something to distract me from the world around me.
And there I was. In front of Sero's door. I knew he had something to "help" me. Everyone knew.
I knocked on the door and stepped back for a moment when I heard shuffling from within the room. The door swung open to reveal a groggy Sero in a loose white t-shirt and baggy sweatpants. Once his eyes had adjusted, he focused his attention on me and suddenly had a look of confusion and worry.
"Is everything alright, man?" he tiredly asked.
"Do you have anything to...help me?"
"To 'help you?'"
"You know. To distract me."
"The hell are you going on about? Did something happen?"
I let out a sigh of frustration.
"Nothing happened, but do you have," I lowered my voice, "pot?"
"Dude! That's all you had to say," he said, buckling over in laughter.
I pushed past him to avoid any more of his obnoxious behavior and walked into his room. To my surprise, I heard a soft groan come from the hammock.
"Hanta?"
I looked towards the direction of the voice and saw as Dunce Face looked around the room in a daze.
"I'm right here. Bakugou just wanted to stop by and talk for a little bit," Sero stated as he walked back into his dorm. He reached over to brush away the hair hanging over Denki's eyes and gently kissed his forehead. I stood there, shocked about what had just happened. He then suddenly walked over to his bookshelf and opened a hidden compartment in the back panels. He took out a small bag containing something that looked like bunched up grass.
"I'll roll you one and we'll share since it's your first time," he told me as he took something that looked like paper out of the box.
"So, are we not going to talk about you and Pikachu just now?" I asked, slight annoyance tinging my voice.
"Oh, that? We're just seeing how things work out if we were...you know...a couple," he responded with a slight blush spreading across his cheeks.
"When did this even happen? Are you two an official—"
"This isn't going to be a big blunt because I don't have much left, and these prices are killing me. Can you believe I paid ¥1,000 for one gram?" he ranted to me. He seemed to not want to talk about it so I didn't push it any further. I only watched the way he methodically put everything together. It looked as though it was second nature to him. He did everything so quickly and proficiently that I wondered how often he did this behind closed doors.
My trance was soon broken as he tapped one end of his work on the floor. He reached back into the box and grabbed a small white lighter, and held it to the end of the blunt causing it to smoke. I watched as he took a slow, deep breath in and released a cloud of stinking smoke around the room.
"What the hell? It smells like shit in here now," I said as I covered my nose with my shirt.
"Dude, you're the one who wanted to do this in the first place."
"Whatever," I mumbled as I reached over to take a hit.
As I inhaled, my eyes started to water and my chest felt like it was filled with cotton. I started to cough uncontrollably as I heard Sero laughing at my reaction.
***
About an hour had passed and I felt like I was floating. My eyes felt so heavy and everything had taken a new emphasis on a certain feature. I just numbly sat there, feeling everything at once.
Eventually, I saw Kirishima walk in and cringe at the skunk-like odor that filled the room. His eyes landed on me and he gave me a crooked grin as he shook his head at me. He crouched down next to the bean bag that I sat in and leaned towards me, placing his hands on either side of my face. His touch felt like the stars were dancing across my skin. He softly chuckled as I looked at him in awe and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, burying his face in the crook of my neck. His hands eventually began to rub my back comfortingly as he looked up and kissed along my jawline.
"How do you feel?" he whispered as he reached my ear. I only hugged him closer to me.
"How do you feel?"
"Hey!" I felt a hand shake me awake.
"How do you feel?" Sero asked.
I blinked harshly to allow my eyes to adjust to the spotlights around me. Everything roared around me, yet sounded like I was submerged underwater. I refocused my attention on Sero and sighed.
"I feel like crying my eyes out, but I'm so high that I can't," I responded.

***

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