Ryan's expression is now puzzled and Evie has wide eyes. Oliver doesn't understand a thing.
"Please elaborate." Ryan pulls out a clipboard and starts scribbling away as I speak.
"When I started dating my partner, Johnny, he told me he was infertile. He said he wasn't missing any chromosomes and he doesn't have, like, a disease or a condition. Um, he just said that his sperm doesn't do what it's supposed to, or something. He found out when he was nineteen. A clinic was doing rounds at his college dorms, testing for STDs and the like." I wave my hand.
"What's sperm?" Evie asks in her completely innocent way, and I go bright red.
"Jesus." I mutter to myself. "Nothing, Evie. It's an adult word."
Evie nods somberly. I've had to tell her many times before that some words are adult words and I'll tell her what they mean when she is an adult.
"Okay." Ryan scratches the top of his head and turns to his computer screen. He taps away for a couple of minutes. I'm too nervous to say anything, and just sit in silence, observing the office.
It's completely different to Johnny's. Johnny's office looks like a playground of sorts; a mini slide adorns the corner of the room, a massive jar of lollies sits atop his desk, and the walls are plastered with various pieces of art kids have gifted him with. This office is bland, but standard– grey walls, a height chart in the corner and scales resting on the floor. The bleakness of the place makes me ache for Johnny's office, a place I find warm and comforting; somewhere where I've often shown up randomly with coffee and lunch to surprise him.
Eventually, Ryan turns back to me. "We have a couple of options here. Firstly, you can wait it out, find out if you are pregnant and then you can both come in together to see us. Secondly, we could take Johnny's sperm into our fertility lab for testing, then administer a standard blood test for pregnancy. Or thirdly, which is the option that is safest currently, we take a pregnancy test now, send you the results privately and if it comes back positive we then test Johnny last."
I nod meekly along with Ryan as he talks. "I think I'll take the last option. If I'm not, I don't want to get his hopes up."
"Thats what I thought." Ryan nods along with me. "But I have to ask, for routine, whether you have slept with anyone else apart from your partner in the last couple of months?"
"No. Not at all."
"Okay. If you'll wait here, then I can ask a female nurse to administer the testing, and while she is I'll get you to please fill out a guest-patient form."
I nod my head along with what he says. "Thanks, Ryan. Much appreciated."
"No problem. Situations like this are tricky but whatever the results are I'm sure you and your partner will come out stronger. And you have two adorable little ones by your side already."
I was touched. "Thank you." Was all I managed to get out before he left the room.
˚✧₊⁎༄
It was a day later when I found out the results. Evie had successfully been dropped home from school by her friends Mother, and had gotten changed out of her uniform and straight into her pajamas. The kids and I were eating pancakes as a special treat in the kitchen when my phone dinged and I practically jumped on it in anticipation.
My heart thumped in my chest although I was fairly sure of what the result would be. I did have a hunch, but even so I almost dropped my phone in shock when I read the results and found out that in the months to come, another baby would be growing inside of me. The result was positive, and Johnny was very clearly not infertile.
3 ➳ you think she's pretty, don't you?
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