Monster jokes

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What does a celebrity vampire receive?

Fang mail!!!

What is a skeleton's favourite food?

Spare ribs!!

What is a skeleton's favorite road?

Dead end!

What would you get if you crossed a teacher with a vampire?

Lots of blood tests!!

What did the dragon say when he saw St. George in shining armour?

"Oh no, not more tinned food!"

What's a skeletons favourite musical instrument?

A tromBONE!

What's big, scary and has two wheels?

A monster on a motorbike!

What is a vampires favourite fruit?

A neck-tarine!

What do ghosts put on their crackers?

Scream cheese!

What do you give a witch at teatime?

A cup and a sorcerer!

What did the monster order at the restaurant?

The waiter!!

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Frostbite!

Why don't people kiss vampires?

Because they've got bat breath!

What do you get when you cross a witch and an ice cube?

A cold spell!!

What do ghosts have for dessert?

I scream and boo berry pie!

Why didn't the zombie go to the ball?

He felt a bit rotten!

What do little zombies take to bed?

Their deady bear!

Why do graveyards have fences?

Because everyone's dying to get in!!

What witch is good when it's dark?

A lights witch!

What pasta do ghosts eat?

Spook-etti!

What do little monsters eat?

Alpha bat soup!

What has 33 legs, 12 eyes, feels slimy, smells rotten, is hairy and is green????

I don't know but there is one climbing on your shoulder!!!

What is a monsters favourite game?

Swallow the leader!

Red monster: That cute girl over there just rolled her eyes at me!

Blue monster: well you'd better roll them back - she probably needs them!

What is a sea monsters favourite meal?

Fish and ships!!

What would you get if you crossed a werewolf with a dozen eggs?

A very hairy omlette!

What's a witch's favorite subject in school?

Spelling!!!

What do you call a witch at the seaside?

A sandwich!!

What kind of dog does dracula have?

A blood hound!

What did one coffin say to the other coffin?

"Is that you coffin?"

What day does a monster eat his lunch?

On Chewsday!!!

What monster likes to dance a lot?

The boogeyman!

Why did the little pharoah cry at school?

He missed his mummy!

What kind of music do mummies like?

Wrap!

What do you call a skeleton that won't get up in the morning?

Lazy bones!

Young monster: I don't like my teacher!

Mummy monster: Well, put him to the side of your plate but eat your greens!

Why did the cyclops stop teaching?

Because he only had one pupil

What did the big dragon say to the little dragon?

"Have you been smoking again?!"

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