Animal jokes

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Why does a Koala carry its baby on its back?

Because they can't push a pram up a tree!!!

What do you get when you cross two elephants and a fish?

A pair of swimming trunks!!

Why is it easy to weigh fish?

Because they always have scales!

What do frogs drink?

Croak-a-cola!!

What do you get if you cross a Goldfish and a Chimp?

A swim-panzee!

Why do giraffes have such long necks?

Because their feet smell so bad!

How do whales get around?

By whaleway station

How do bees travel?

They take the buzz

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?

A woolly jumper!

How do turtles communicate?

By using shell-phones!!

What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch?

Time to get a new watch!

A man was leading a giraffe along the road when another man stopped him.

"You need to take that giraffe to the zoo!", he said.

The first man said, "We did that yesterday, but today we're going to the beach!!"

What do you call a fish with two legs?

A two-knee fish!!

What's the difference between a biscuit and an elephant?

Have you ever tried dipping an elephant into a cup of tea!!!!

How does a dog stop watching a DVD?

It presses the paws button!

why didn't the worms go into Noah's Ark in an apple?

Because they had to go in pairs!!

What do you call a box full of duck's?

Quackers!

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Where you left it!

Heard about what happened to the naughty chicken at school?

It got egg-spelled!

Why do humming birds hum?

Because they don't know the words!

What's a pigs favourite karate move?

A pork chop!

Why do gardeners plant bulbs?

So that worms can see underground!!!

Two snakes are slithering along in the grass.

One turns to the other and asks, "Are we poisonous?"

"Poisonous?", said the other. "Why, we're so poisonous that just a single drop of our venom can kill a MILLION rats in seconds! Why do you ask?"

"Because I just bit my tongue..."

What's the difference between a jellyfish and a guitar?

You can't strum a jellyfish!

There were two monkeys in a bath. One said to the other, "oo oo ah ah!"

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