FanMail | Malum

^Three^

Never get married, or experience his first shitty job.

Not even graduate.

That broke my heart.

"Love you too bud," I smile at him sadly, but he just continues to grin brightly at me. This kid is something else.

After about a half an hour, the other lads had moved on to other kids, rotating around, but I stayed right here with Anthony. He liked some of the same bands as me, had a wicked sense of humor, and was just amazing overall. The thing about him that surprised me most about him is his happiness. After a while, I decide to question him on this.

"Bud?"

"Yeah, Cally?"

"How are you so happy? In general, you are so hyperactive and joyful but...you're sick. How is that?" He sits thoughtfully for a moment, and I wait patiently, squeezing his hand in encouragement.

"I have a limited time on this earth," he starts, voice lacing of seriousness. "I know my expiration date unlike a lot of other people. So Calum...yes I'm going to die, but I might as well live these last days in joy, in peace, am I wrong? Because if I live them in sorrow and pain, I may as well be bringing my last day closer." He finishes, and I'm confused at first, but slowly begin to bask in what he means. I nod slowly.

"I get what you mean," I look at him fondly. "You're a smart kid, bud."

"I know," he states simply. "Ain't all bubbles n' sunshine gluing in dis weave hunty" he flips his imaginary weave, and I laugh. "But Cal." He says more seriously. "Then I have the right to ask you...how can someone with all of the fame and money be so...sad?"

I find his question fair enough.

" M' not sad." I tell him honestly. "I'm bitter. With my parents divorcing, and my mom 'leaving' me as selfish as this all sounds, love is a thing I just find no existence or point In." He nods understandingly.

"A soul without love, is the same as a sad one. " he observes quietly, but I hear him.

"Whoa, whoa dr. Phil."

"But Cylan." He pouts, and I giggle, my heart fluttering at the mention of our ship.

"There's a difference between love and attraction bud," I inform him.

"....me" he says after a while. My eyes widen, and I am quick to stroke his hair softly in reassurement.

"Hate to go all paramore on you, it you're my only exception." He giggles, and turns serious again, and I begin to Wonder if this kid is bipolar as well.

"I hope that you really do find your only exception one day, Calum. Your lover, your man."

"'Me too" I sigh, "me too" I kiss his forehead softly, as his eyes were beginning to close shut. "I'll see you again." I whisper to him, hope shaking me within. I get up from my spot next to my bed, and turn to see the lads and even some doctors staring at me with tears brimming their eyes. I can tell they'd clap if Anthony wasn't asleep already. I just go to the end of the room where a girl sat reading contently. No one had visited her yet, so I decided to give it a go.

"Hello there." She looks up from her book to me, heaving slightly. She grabs a notebook, and pen from under her pillow and begins to scribble frantically.

Ah, shes mute.

'Wow oh my got wow hi' is written in neat italics. I laugh.

"Hey! How are you sweetie?"

'I'm not okay Bc Calum fucking hood is talking to me...and I can't even talk back :((' she writes. I frown.

"S'okay hun, that you can't speak I mean. You're in the fam, and I love you just the same." She grins.

'Omf OMF OMF my brothers gonna cry'

"Why?"

'He loves you even more than me'

"Really? What's his name?" I ask curiously, giggling a bit at the fact that I hadn't even gotten her name yet.

'It's Michael. He visited me just earlier today. You're his sunshine cal'

"Aw! I wish I could've met him! This is our last day in Oz for a while." She clears her throat, its scratchy sound making me sympathize him.

'I know :( I'm Zandra btw. Luckily mike gave me a letter for you in case you'd come unexpectedly. He's fangirlish like that.' She reaches out to grab a yellow envelope and hands it to me warily. I begin to open it and she covers her ears, writing a quick;

'Ew, don't read it aloud it's 80% Gonna be out him sucking your cock.' I chuckle, but rip the letter open anyhow.

Calum,

If you ever read this (witch I doubt) just remember that you masturbate with your parents names tattooed on your hands.

Jus Sayin.

Mike xx

I flush, and Zandra groans shaking her head angrily.

'He had writers block' she writes, defending her brother.

"Never wanking again," I mumble under my breathe. Too embarrassed to do anything else, I just give her a tight hug, promising that this wouldn't be the last of me.

'Can't wait to tell mike and rub it in his face' she writes. 'Thx for talking, you're a cool guy.'

"Thanks," I say smiling. I walk over to the other boys that were waiting patiently at the door for me. We mutter last goodbyes, and made our way out the door. I leave feeling full, and happy.

Until Ash grabs the letter out of my hand, and starts to coo;

"Ooooh! What's this?! A love letter?" He teases.

"Give it back Ashton. Now." He passes it to Luke who's doubling over in fake laughter.

"Is cal bear finally getting laid??" Dylan wraps his arms around my waist in comfort.

"Give it back guys," he says sternly. They ignore him until Dylan releases his grip on me to try and snatch the letter in the envelope away. Luke tugs too, and it's a full on tug a war with me watching with a pout.

((A/n: for anyone confused, the letter that cal got from Mikey in the first chappie is LONG gone, witch is why he doesn't remember the name))

It's not long until a tear is heard, and Ash with a sheepish smile hands the remains of the letter to me. I don't why, maybe it's the the after shock of hanging out with all those kids, I don't know why but I begin to cry and shout at my band mates.

"WHY?! DO YOU GUYS SERIOUSLY HAVE TO FUCK EVERYTHING UP THIS FAN WILL NEVER GET A REPLY FROM ME NOW EVER! CANT YOU JUST GROW UP ALREADY, JESUS?!" They all state at me in shock, and I wish I could just stay here alone with the kids, just talking to them. I run out of the hospital doors out to our awaiting limo.

I didn't even get his return address.

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This chapter just ruined this whole fic why do I even try goodbye