incarcerated

18.

    all there was to do, as usual, was read. brett had accumulated quite the pile of books under his small bed and picked up one of his favorites, restarting it for what must've been the third time. the sounds of the other inmates' conversations droned on and became nothing more than white noise as brett immersed himself in the words on the yellowed pages.

    unfortunately, reading did not take his mind off of the man he'd spoken to in the library earlier. eddy's face was burned into his brain and he saw this catlike eyes every time he blinked or let out a yawn. hours passed and time came for lights out, but brett remained in a sitting position on his bed with the book in his small hands. he fell asleep like that, his head resting on the concrete wall.

    eddy could not sleep. it wasn't that tiredness wouldn't come, but he simply didn't have time. a group of new inmates was arriving the next day and he had stacks of paperwork to do. his stress levels had never been higher and he sat at his desk with his head in his hands, inhaling shakily. he didn't need to cry. it was a bad idea.

    the clock read 1:03 a.m. when the first bout of tears fell down eddy's face and he wiped them angrily, face red and chest heaving. it was too much. everything was too much. brett, the prison, his crippling loneliness, his lack of sleep—everything was hitting him at once and it was all he could do to keep quiet.

    on the other end of the prison, at 1:08 a.m., brett awoke with a terrible taste in his mouth and a splitting headache. he groaned softly and pushed his hair out of his face before a shiver ran down his spine, startling him. he was not cold.

    loneliness crept up behind brett and grabbed him without warning. a dull ache in his chest told him that something was wrong, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it until eddy's face returned to his mind once again. he rolled his eyes at his own stupidity and checked the time. would eddy still be in his office?

    visiting the warden was the last thing brett wanted, but it felt like he needed it. having the taller man's arms around him would fix everything, including the ever present aching of not only his chest, but the entirety of his small body. he took deep breaths as he got out of his bed and padded slowly down the dim hallways. the guards said nothing to him as he passed. they knew where he was going and didn't dare to stop him, fearing the possibility of eddy's anger towards them.

    the door to eddy's office had never looked so terrifying. brett felt terrible about the way he'd been talking to the other man and had decided to apologize once again, following said apology with an explanation of his feelings on the situation. it was the logical thing to do, wasn't it?

    however, the plan changed as soon as brett knocked on eddy's door.

    "what?" came eddy's voice, quieter than ever and filled with pain. brett frowned and pushed the door open.

    "hey, don't just... oh," eddy began, frowning slightly and tilting his head downwards when he saw who was entering his office.

    "hey," brett said quietly, sitting on the chair in front of eddy's desk. eddy did not look up.

    "what do you need? i've got, uh.. a lot to do," he sniffled, trying desperately to hide that he'd been crying. brett saw right through it.

    "i wanted to say i'm sorry," he said softly, biting his lip. "are you okay?"

    eddy threw his shaky hands up and laid his head down on the wooden desk, sniffling once again. brett sighed.

    the smaller boy carefully stood up and walked behind eddy's desk, glancing at the paperwork that laid next to his head. he put his hands on eddy's shoulders and lifted him back into a sitting position, turning his chair so that the warden faced him.

    neither of them spoke as eddy wrapped his arms around brett's waist and rested his heavy head on the other man's chest, closing his tired eyes as small hands stroked his hair. soft hiccups escaped eddy's lips periodically and brett planted a warm kiss on the top of his head, closing his eyes. he didn't protest when eddy pulled away and stood up, his calloused hands pressed against the soft skin of brett's cheeks.

    their lips soon collided for what felt like the first time, each of them surprised by how good the other tasted. brett's knees went weak and his hands grabbed at eddy's suit jacket as the taller boy's tongue traced over the insides of brett's heated cheeks. eddy paused to remove the jacket and brett looked longingly at his muscular arms that protruded from his short sleeved button up, licking his lips.

    as eddy kissed him again, he found himself unable to think clearly. the warden had intoxicated him and he let himself drift into a strange state of mind as their lips continued to move together, slowly leaning backwards against eddy's desk. he raised his eyebrows as brett pushed his tongue into his mouth and grabbed tightly at his shirt collar, a haze of passion washing over both of them.

finally pulling away for air, the two of them stared at each other. their lips were swollen and tinted with identical shades of red.

as soon as brett opened his mouth to speak, a loud knock upon the door shut him up and paralyzed both of them with fear.